


the emo group chat fic that isnt funny what-so-ever

by EmoTragedy



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drama, Group Chat Fic, High School AU, Inappropriate Humor, Insults, M/M, Swearing, THIS IS STUPID IM SORRY, enjoy u emo rats, im not really sure what to tag, none of them are in their bands, poor grammar, still song references tho, why are you here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 11:05:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 16,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14377326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmoTragedy/pseuds/EmoTragedy
Summary: brendon, ryan, tyler, josh, gerard, mikey, frank and of course patrick and pete's weird af journey to survive living in the group chat brendon created because why not





	1. brendon makes bad choices

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this is short but ill update often ok are u happy? probably not cuz no one wanted this (._.)

Brendon Urie added Ryan Ross, Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun, Gerard Way and Pete Wentz to Untitled Group.

Brendon Urie renamed the group welcome to hell

Brendon Urie: wassup  
Ryan Ross: oh dear god wtf is this  
Brendon Urie: this, dear ryan, is hell itslef  
Tyler Joseph: tbh im more concerned on what itslef means  
Brendon Urie: fuck off  
Gerard Way: ok if im gonna be here im goinh to at least change my name

Gerard Way changed their name to gee, thats bad

gee, thats bad: beautiful  
Brendon Urie: wtf no u need one like this

Brendon Urie changed their name to bredbin

bredbin: better  
gee, thats bad: u spelt bredbin wrong  
bredbin: the nxet person who corrects me is getting kicked out  
Ryan Ross: next*

bredbin removed Ryan Ross from welcome to hell

bredbin: whos next  
gee, thats bad: <<  
Tyler Joseph: im scared


	2. dear god what is this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50 shades of gerard  
> gerard, geard, geerad, gee, grard, geard, gead, grinch, and many more
> 
>  
> 
> also brendons unicorn addiction is here only its phrased differently

bredbin added Ryan Ross to welcome to hell

Ryan Ross: that was not fun  
Tyler Joseph: so on a scale of 1-10 how magical was it  
Ryan Ross: brendon  
Tyler Joseph: shit thats pretty bad i suggest not going there again  
bredbin: scuse me  
Tyler Joseph: oh heck  
gee, thats bad: no swearing u fucking pleb  
Tyler Joseph: bitch 

gee, thats bad changed Tyler Joseph's name to fucking pleb

fucking pleb: not the best but i like it   
bredbin: beautiful  
gee, thats bad: ikr   
Ryan Ross: ahem  
gee, thats bad: what do u want ur not part of the gay cracc squad  
Ryan Ross: give me ur wise words of wisdom  
bredbin: thou must changeth thou name  
Ryan Ross: bitch i wasnt talking to u  
bredbin: ;-;  
gee, thats bad: change ur fuckin name u retard  
Ryan Ross: i have been enlightened

Ryan Ross changed their name to rayn

rayn: amazing  
bredbin: yea it is  
rayn: aww its times like this that i love u  
gee, thats bad: *flashbacks to when brendon said "miss me with that gay shit"*  
fucking pleb: wait i havent heard from pete in a while  
bredbin: yea unicorns are amazing i love them too haha ;)  
bredbin: wait  
bredbin: FUCK HOW DO YOU DELETE A TEXT OH GOD  
fucking pleb: screenshotted  
gee, thats bad: gee thats too bad  
Pete Wentz: i hate u all  
fucking pleb: oh hey pete  
Pete Wentz: i left my phone at home yesterday and now ive been kicked out of class  
bredbin: yea yea first world problems now if u see my situation im completely fucked  
Pete Wentz: oh yeah i saw that and thought someone took ur phone lmfao i doubt it now  
gee, thats bad: i have an idea

gee, thats bad changed bredbin's name to uniboi

uniboi: FUCK U GEARD  
gee, thats bad: what the fuck  
fucking pleb: exquisite  
Pete Wentz: alright gordon ramsay  
fucking pleb: oh fuck no have u ever tasted gerards cooking  
gee, thats bad: fuck u  
Josh Dun: oh hey wtf is this  
fucking pleb: read everything   
Josh Dun: who r u  
fucking pleb: fucking read it and youll get an answer  
Josh Dun: ok jeez   
uniboi: is everyone going to ingore my situation  
Pete Wentz: "ingore" -brendon urie  
gee, thats bad: whos brendon urie i only know uniboi  
Josh Dun: this is fucking weird  
fucking pleb: yep

fucking pleb changed Josh Dun's name to fucking weird

fucking pleb: if u say something memeable it will either be ur name or the grouo name id ur lucky  
fucking weird: ah ok i see  
Pete Wentz: u guys suck get on my level  
uniboi: ?

Pete Wentz changed their name to papa pepe

fucking weird: ffs pepe is dead  
papa pepe: FUCK U PEPE WILL LIVE ON IN OUR HEARTS  
fucking weird: well now thats just mean

uniboi renamed the group well now thats just mean

fucking pleb: holy shit pete get on joshs level hes famous now  
fucking weird: ur all a bunch of sausages  
gee, thats bad: why sausages  
fucking weird: cuz now all the vegans in the entire fucking world will gang up on u and kick ur ass  
gee, thats bad: fuCK  
fucking weird: fear me


	3. pete is attached to dead memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'pete stop it'

papa pepe: im shaking  
gee, thats bad: why  
fucking pleb: why  
fucking weird: why  
uniboi: stop saying why u fucking plums  
gee, thats bad: ...  
gee, thats bad: why  
uniboi: fuck off  
papa pepe: im shaking bc its cold u retards  
fucking pleb: my name applies to all of u now  
uniboi: t(-.-t)  
fucking weird: stop sending fuckin emojis jeez  
papa pepe: (•Π•) why  
fucking weird: stop  
fucking pleb: (°^°) no  
fucking weird: stop or o will attack  
gee, thats bad: <(•~•)> how exacty  
fucking weird: finr  
fucking weird: u asked for it

fucking weird removed gee, thats bad from well now thats just mean  
fucking weird removed uniboi from well now thats just mean

papa pepe: jeSUS OK WELL STOP JUST ADD TEHM BACK OH MY GOD  
fucking weird: ...fine

fucking weird added gee, thats bad and uniboi to well now thats just mean

gee, thats bad: now i see what ryan meant  
uniboi: me to and ir was me he wasctalking about

fucking weird left well now thats just mean

fucking pleb: oh my fucking god were keeling this group name  
uniboi: yeah thats just mean josh  
papa pepe: wait just randemly whatd joshs middle name tyler  
fucking pleb: william  
fucking pleb: why?  
papa pepe: HAHA FUCKIN JOSH WILLY DUN HAHA  
uniboi: jesus u have the mentality of a 5 yr old  
papa pepe: nO i Do NoT  
rayn: im gonna have to agree with uniboi over here  
fucking pleb: oh hey ryan  
gee, thats bad: is noone gonna bring josh back

fucking pleb added fucking weird to well now thats just mean

fucking weird: took u long enough geesus  
fucking pleb: gerardsus  
gee, thats bad: fuck yes  
rayn: im on it

rayn changed gee, thats bad's name to geesus

geesus: i am immortal  
fucking weird: ffs

uniboi changed the settings [tap to view]

fucking weird: u just made it so only u can remove ppl didnt u  
uniboi: yes i did bc ur grounded  
papa pepe: ahem whos the father here  
uniboi: shit sorry dad  
papa pepe: its fine now josh ur grounded go to ur roon  
fucking weird: what ia happening here  
fucking pleb: idk ask geesus  
geesus: eyy wassup pray to ne or some shit idk  
fucking weird: yeah no i think ill pass  
geesus: u sure  
fucking weird: yes  
uniboi: well now thats just mean  
rayn: lmao


	4. nothing but memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two new bois have joined the suffering but im not telling u who haha
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *cough* pat and mikey *cough*

uniboi: wake up u fat pies  
fucking pleb: geesus  
geesus: u called  
fucking pleb: get rid of brandon  
uniboi: ............  
uniboi: what the fuck did u call me  
fucking pleb: shiet  
rayn: ooooooh shits goin down  
papa pepe: I AINT GET NO SLEEP CUZ A YALL   
geesus: fuck off pete  
papa pepe: i wad actually sleeping until u twats woke me up  
fucking pleb: i think thats the fiest time ive ever been called a twat  
papa pepe: hows it feel  
fucking pleb: nicer than being called a fat pie if im honest  
rayn: guys want some advice  
uniboi: oooh ryans words of wisdom  
rayn: shut the fuck up before i cut off brendons dick and put it under onr of ur pillows  
fucking pleb: ...  
geesus: ...  
papa pepe: ...  
fucking weird: ...  
uniboi: why my dick  
rayn: bc u said i have words of wisdom when i fuckig dont  
uniboi: ah shit  
papa pepe: also i kinda pushed some random kid over a desk at school so can i add him  
fucking weird: how do u know his name  
papa pepe: i pay attention to whoevers in my calss so if theres a murder at school i can be like 'oh poor carly she was quite nice'  
uniboi: are u hinting at something  
papa pepe: probably   
rayn: fuckin add him then

papa pepe added Patrick Stump to well now thats just mean

Patrick Stump: wtf is this  
fucking pleb: i love him already  
papa pepe: hey patrick its me the guy who ACCIDENTALLY pushed u ovre a desk at school  
Patrick Stump: fuck u  
papa pepe: it was an accident and i apolagized  
Patrick Stump: whatever  
Patrick Stump: anyway can someone tell me what the fuck this is and who u are  
uniboi: teLL HIM NOW SPARE ME THE EMBARRASNENT OF MY NAME  
fucking weird: read everything  
uniboi: oh fuck  
Patrick Stump: ok then brendon  
Patrick Stump: ur name is hilarious now i understand it  
uniboi: i hate everyone  
papa pepe: lmao  
fucking pleb: he needs a name or hes not part of the gay cracc squad  
rayn: hes right :/  
fucking weird: S T O P  
rayn: shit sorry

papa pepe changed Patrick Stump's name to grumpy stumpy

grumpy stumpy: i do not appreciate this name  
fucking pleb: do u think i approev of mine  
grumpy stumpy: not really  
uniboi: or me  
grumpy stumpy: u all have valid points  
fucking pleb: exactly  
papa pepe: do not fight with grumpg stymot  
grumpy stumpy: wtf  
geesus: since yall are adding people im gonna add my brother cuz he deserves to suffer as much as i do

geesus added Mikey Way to well now thats just mean

geesus changed Mikey Way's name to moikeh

moikeh: fuck off gerard  
papa pepe: greetings moikeh  
moikeh: i can tell ur all gay  
geesus: but mikey  
geesus: were all gay  
moikeh: ph hell no  
fucking pleb: wë'rê åll gæy døwñ hèré  
moikeh: fuck this   
moikeh: whY CANT I LEAVE  
uniboi: u cannot escape the gay  
moikeh: f u c k


	5. brendon has a bad day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon basically gets suspended but im not telling you why >:))

uniboi: guys entertain me  
geesus: why were at school  
uniboi: im not  
geesus: i saw u this morning   
uniboi: i got suspended  
rayn: ok what why  
uniboi: ok just get everyone over here  
grumpy stumpy: ffs im in class u fucking bagel  
moikeh: judt get on with it brebdon

uniboi changed their name to brebdon

brebdon: thx mikey  
moikeh: fuck u  
brebdon: anyways i got suspendef bc i "wasnt wearinh appropriate shoes"  
fucking pleb: i saw everything and filmed it bc noone wants to help forehead mgee over here  
brebdon: hEY

fucking pleb sent a video [tap to view]

geesus: holy fuck  
geesus: i forgot ihad my volune up now the whole class is staring at me  
moikeh: lmfao  
geesus: fuck it im showinh it to the class  
brebdon: doNT U DAER  
grumpy stumpy: i dont care what happens anymore tbh  
papa pepe: unless its between us ;))))))))  
fucking weird: S T O P  
papa pepe: ffs get over it  
fucking weird: no  
fronk: wait so brendon was questioned about his "kinky boots" and then when he refused to take em off he kicked the teachers dick and screamed "fuck u my kinky boots will kill all u bald ass bitches" before running off?  
brebdon: yep basically  
grumpy stumpy: im honestly surprised u didnt get expelled  
brebdon: im not  
geesus: u should be  
brebdon: u should be paying attention to the lessen  
geesus: one i got kicked out and two its lesson  
papa pepe: alright werard gay  
moikeh: i spAT OUT MY DRINK HOLY SHIT  
fucking weird: mikey were in the same class u werent drinking anything  
moikeh: fuck off dosh jun  
fucking pleb: wikey may  
geesus: jyler toseph  
brebdon: urendon brie  
grumpy stumpy: wete pentz  
papa pepe: satrick ptump  
rayn: irank fero  
fronk: ryan ross  
rayn: fuck  
brebdon: WE FOUND THE IMPOSTER  
fucking pleb: ben foster  
fucking weird: wtf  
fucking pleb: it rhymes with impotser  
geesus: ffs imposter  
brebdon: die in a pit  
fronk: ur hostile  
brebdon: they took away my kinky boots now i have no kinky boots  
rayn: school?  
brebdon: no u shit plum lettuce cheese tomato gone off milk sandwich my parents  
geesus: oh  
fucking weird: ...  
geesus: ...  
rayn: ...  
fronk: ...  
papa pepe: ...  
grumpy stumpy: ...  
moikeh: ...  
fucking pleb: ...  
fucking pleb: what kind of insult is tgat  
fronk: juST FUCKING RUIN THE MOMENT  
geesus: dammit tyler  
fucking pleb: can i not be curious  
brebdon: rules of this chat: 1- noone can know about this chat 2- no serious topics 3- we all have to be gay 4- no curiosity 5- no proper grammer 6- always have ur name changed from ur originl name 7- admit im better than u 8- no disrespecting papa pepe or mama stump 9- no emojis 10- nean  
grumpy stumpy: ffs

grumpy stumpy changed their name to mama stump

mama stump: u happy now  
papa pepe: yes  
brebdon: no bc my fucKING KINKY BOOTS ARE GONE  
moikeh: what did i get myself into  
fucking pleb: this is hell u sinners  
geesus: HOW TF DID GEESUS GET INTO HELL  
rayn: fuck our logic sucks  
fucking pleb: probabky bc we get kicked out every lesson  
fronk: he has a point  
fucking weird: i havent been kicked out yet  
fronk: he has  
fucking weird: just blow my cover why dont y  
rayn: stop fighting ur breaking the rules  
brebdon: remember the first rule of well now that s just nean  
fronk: n e a n  
brebdon: wrong rule retard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> r.i.p brendon and his kinky boots


	6. woosh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff goes... bad? idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didnt update again yesterday :/

fronk: guys get the fuck up  
geesus: wtf its literally 5am  
fronk: idc wake everyonr else up  
geesus: why  
moikeh: go to sleep u fuckin wet tissues  
brebdon: i wasnt asleep anyway  
brebdon: MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP  
fronk: wait try to group call everyone  
moikeh: dont u fuckin dare

geesus started a group call [tap to answer]

fucking pleb: jeSUS H CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK OK IM UP  
fucking weird: IM AWAKE   
mama stumpy: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH U ALL   
papa pepe: wtf is going on  
rayn: what the fuuuuck  
fronk: most of u are saying 'wtf'  
fucking pleb: WHAT TF ARE WE SUPPOSD TO SAY  
brebdon: something that doesnt involve swearing tHIS IS A CHRISTIAN SERVER U FUCKTARD  
fucking pleb: stfu  
geesus: ok first off  
geesus: why the fUCK DID FRANK WAKE US UP AT FIVE FUCKING AM  
fronk: ill explain  
moikeh: please do  
fronk: ok get ready to cry  
papa pepe: i hve a lot of moral support to give  
mama stump: i hate u all  
fronk: ...  
fronk: idk how to say this...  
brebdon: take ur time  
brebdon: jk hurry the fuck up u sloth  
fronk: ...  
fronk: I, FRANK IERO, DROPPED MY MOMS FUCKING HANDBAG IN THE TOILET AND NOW SHES GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME  
geesus: really  
papa pepe: oooh looks like im out of moral support sorry kiddo  
mama stump: ive lost the will to live

brebdon changed fronk's name to toilet boi

toilet boi: this isnt a fuckin joke  
moikeh: i swear next time i see u at school frank i will shove that handbag up ur fucking ass  
fucking pleb: kinky ;)))

fucking weird changed fucking pleb's name to kinky

kinky: ...  
kinky: i approve   
toilet boi: HELP  
geesus: oh god what now  
toilet boi: I TRIED TO GET OUT MY HOUSE FROM THE FUCKIN WINDOW AND IM STUCK IN A TREE  
kinky: how high is it  
toilet boi: PRETTY FUCKING STONED  
kinky: sHIT  
mama stump: gerard hes ur bf go get him  
geesus: fUCKKKKK  
kinky: why do i feel like hes stuck as well  
geesus: DING DING FUCKING DING GET HELP FRANK DROPPED HIS PHONE  
fucking weird: shit mikey ur his brother go get him  
moikeh: fine  
kinky: hes gonna get stuck too ya know  
moikeh: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT MOMS GONNA KILL US GEE  
geesus: U THINK I DONT KNOW THAT  
kinky: ffs im coming over  
fucking weird: ill come too and tell u all what haopens   
brebdon: yaaaas drama  
mama stump: fuck this im done   
papa pepe: im too tired to deal w this shit  
rayn: yeah im goin back to sleep cya at school u fuckin weirdos  
fucking weird: k im there and franks mom is fucking pissed  
geesus: shit i see her  
fucking weird: ty is explaininf whats goin on  
fucking weird: now shes shouting and im filming it  
moikeh: gee were so fucked  
fucking weird: shes getting them down  
fucking weird: she sent gee and mikey home and is fycking screaminh at frank and the neighbors are up  
kinky: well that was eventful

fucking weird sent a video [tap to view]

brebdon: HOLY FUCK U GUYS THIS US HILARIOUS  
kinky: fuck this shit im goin ti bed bye u fucking retards  
geesus: well me and mikey are fucked  
moikeh: fuuuuuuck

brebdon renamed the group r.i.p mikey, gee and frank

geesus: i hate u so much brendon  
moikeh: im withh gee for once  
brebdon: ;)  
fucking weird: go to sleep now u fuckers


	7. frank is in trouble or some shit idk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ya boi frank is in trouble

toilet boi: help again  
geesus: no  
toilet boi: srsly  
kinky: tell us what it is and well consider doing it or somethin  
toilet boi: fine  
toilet boi: btw its not about my mom cuz she just yelled at me ans webt to bed its actually the fact brendons in trouble  
kinky: when has he not been in trouble  
geesus: im intrigued  
toilet boi: so anyway hes stuck in the janiyors closet cuz he hit someone with a fuckin mop  
rayn: thats brendon alright  
toilet boi: anyway im in the drama room and i need u guys to come with me  
kinky: im up for it  
geesus: thats a first  
fucking weird: ill come too i guess  
brebdon: i forgot i had my phone anyway help  
rayn: iM COMING BEEBO  
brebdon: save me  
kinky: ffs u better pay us all back or ill fucking slap u  
brebdon: fucK OK ILL PAY U BACK JUST DONT TOUCH NE W UR FUCKING SPIDER LOOKIN FINGERS  
kinky: perfect  
fucking weird: ill film everything again cuz noone else cares  
geesus: ok then lets fucking go  
toilet boi: ok i have a plastic sword  
kinky: i have a mother fucking shoe  
geesus: im not tgere yet but wtf is that gonna do

kinky sent an image [tap to view]

geesus: shiet   
rayn: thats a fuckin high heel daymn  
toilet boi: ty and i are there already  
fucking weird: im there too and ill send the video after  
rayn: jesus this is what well do to save out friends  
brebdon: u love me admit it  
rayn: fuck off  
brebdon: love u too  
papa pepe: guys wtf are u doing   
kinky: shoo  
papa pepe: jeez ok   
kinky: lets bust down this fucking DOOR  
brebdon: its quiet outside wtf are u guys ninjas  
toilet boi: brendon wtf u arent there  
brebdon: neither are u fucktards  
kinky: wE HAVE THE WRONG FUCKING CLOSET  
geesus: SHITTTTT  
toilet boi: F U C K  
brebdon: GUYS HURRY  
kinky: BRENDON WHEN U HEAE A BUNCH OF FUCKIN ELEPHANTS START KNOCKIN ON THE DOOR  
brebdon: got it   
toilet boi: can u hear us yet   
brebdon: did gerard just shout 'brendon loves penis'  
geesus: hes in there  
kinky: WERE COMING BEEBO  
rayn: DW BRENDON  
brebdon: :DD  
geesus: SHIT THE JANITORS COMING  
kinky: GRAB BRENDON AND FUCKING RUN  
toilet boi: JOSH IA STILL FINMINH  
brebdon: DYXKKKKKK  
geesus: GOLY DUCJLK  
kinky: EVERYONE STFU OK  
bredbon: we can still talk like this tyler jeez  
kinky: i mean irl just cuz were hiding doesnt mean he cant fibd ys  
toilet boi: good point  
rayn: holy fuck im shook  
moikeh: gerard  
geesus: what  
moikeh: why the fuck were u and ur "gay cracc squad" running from me after breaking a closet door  
kinky: shit was tgat mikey  
geesus: ok we thought u were the janitor  
moikeh: w h a t t h e f u c k

fucking weird sent a video [tap to view]

kinky: now i have the most stresdful time of my life on camera thx josh  
fucking weird: np tyler  
bredbon: stop being gay and run we need to leave the school  
moikeh: wont that be suspicious tho  
geesus: fuck it lets go  
kinky: this is why we dont have an education  
mama stump: bc u broke to closet doors to "help ur friend" and thought mikey was a janitor and started running then hid and then ran out of school? never would of guessed.   
kinky: fuckkk  
mama stump: im disappointed in u all  
moikeh: even me  
mama stump: yes  
moikeh: bITCH I DIDNY DO ANYTHING  
kinky: admit ur defeat mikey  
kinky: were grounded now  
kinky: accept it  
moikeh: NEVER  
geesus: and mikey just jumped into a fucking bush  
rayn: we are all actually in deep shit tho  
bredbon: hes right  
fucking weird: ...  
fucking weird: wanna go to taco bell  
kinky: yes  
rayn: yes  
geesus: yea  
bredbon: fuck yes  
moikeh: ye  
fucking weird: lets go then fuck being grounded

kinky changed fucking weird's name to daddy dun

kinky changed papa pepe's name to dead meme

daddy dun: now this is how you fucking name something


	8. wow ok im back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more stuff happens i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt die yesterday which is good i guess  
> also this ones shorter than the others but that's only bc im tired but ill update tomorrow ok

dead meme: wait what about pat  
mama stump: pete is concerned for me  
mama stump: thanks pete  
kinky: hmmmmmmmmm  
daddy dun: hHmMmMmMmMm

kinky changed mama stump's name to thanks pete

thanks pete: why do i approve  
bredbon: guESS WHOS BACK U FUCKERS

bredbon started a group call [tap to answer]

kinky: fuck off brendon  
bredbon: :(  
dead meme: fuck we were doing well on our christian streak  
kinky: why did u phrase it like that its like were hunting christians  
dead meme: shet  
geesus: im back too fuckers  
moikeh: kill me n o w  
rayn: gladly  
rayn: ill kill all of u bc i was havin a serious talk w my mom and then my phone started going off but then fycking brendon decided to call the chat  
bredbon: so  
rayn: my ringtone for u is the fucking to be continued theme song  
kinky: are u shitting me rn thats fucking hilarious  
moikeh: *stares at phone with no emotion*  
kinky: bingo  
geesus: tyler is officially franks gradma  
kinky: rood  
fronk: wow ok im here and holy fuck  
dead meme: wtf is it u weird ass mf  
fronk: stfu pete and also my grandma doesnt play bingo gerard arthur way  
geesus: what does she play then  
fronk: bitch dhe plays wii sports

daddy dun sent a video [tap to view]

rayn: JOSH THE FUCKING WII THEME TINE BASS BOOSTED DOESNT HELP MY SITUATION  
daddy dun: whoops

bredbon sent an audio [tap to listen]

rayn: FFS I GIVE UP  
fronk: tO bE cOnTiNuEd...


	9. the bois ruin tb (p1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exactly what the title says

fronk: so  
daddy dun: so  
kinky: so  
dead meme: so  
thanks pete: so  
bredbon: so  
geesus: so  
moikeh: so  
rayn: ffs if ur wondering if i got grounded then yes i got fucking grounded  
kinky: cool  
rayn: ur head wont be cool once i shove it in the oven u fucking pillowcase  
kinky: im more concerned u called me a fucking pillowcase tbh  
daddy dun: whO WANTS TO GO TO TACO BELL  
thanks pete: bitch its monday were in school u twat  
daddy dun: but thia is where daddy dun proves u can have amazing fun  
dead meme: im heavily braced  
bredbon: im heavily armed  
moikeh: hi heavily braced and heavily armed, im mikey  
geesus: g e t o u t  
rayn: i hate u all  
daddy dun: ok so were all gonna go to taco bell its agreed  
kinky: no  
daddy dun: yes  
geesus: how tho  
daddy dun: u know how tyler said sports woildnt come in handy  
kinky: oh ny fucking god   
daddy dun: were just gonna run out basically  
bredbon: pretty solid plan lets go  
daddy dun: meet me by the drana room  
thanks pete: i dont like where this is going  
kinky: its josh u gotta love whee its going

rayn renamed the group to whee

kinky: holy fuck my life has been changed  
rayn: how will we know when people have arribed  
daddy dun: bitch we have fucking eyed  
rayn: that are constantly starinf at our phones  
daddy dun: true  
daddy dun: jyst say something like 'ur all failures cux i beat u haha'  
kinky: got it  
bredbon: i cant be fuckin bothered but lets just go

~a few minutes of boring conversation later~

daddy dun: and my plan worked  
kinky: we didnt even have to run   
rayn: anyway lets go to tb and forget that im grounded  
bredbon: ive never seen something so fucking beautiful in my life  
rayn: thanks  
bredbon: i meant the sentence u fucjing moose  
rayn: r o o d  
geesus: lETS FUCKIN TRASH TB  
moikeh: ok  
bredbon: ok  
kinky: its gonna take a while isnt it  
rayn: maybe  
daddy dun: dw im here and i can make jokes about brendons fucking massive forehead  
bredbon: fuck off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha this is a part 1 now ur gonna have to wait even tho ill probably update later hahaha im sorry


	10. now the bois ruin taco bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> forehead jokes cuz i couldn't resist

bredbon: less go m8  
daddy dun: maybe u could break a table w ur massive fuckin forehead  
bredbon: fuck you

kinky changed bredbon's name to forehead

forehead: maybe ill hit u guys with my forehead  
rayn: im just gonna film what goes down cuz this is gonna be fucking hilarioys i can tell  
dead meme: theres always onecthat flims everything  
kinky: shet what if we get kicked out and we can never come to tb again  
thanks pete: go toba different tb  
kinky: oH yEaH tHaTs A gOoD iDeA  
forehead: it is tho  
kinky: ik thats why i said its a gOoD iDeA  
forehead: stop doing that  
kinky: wHaT  
forehead: s t o p  
kinky: nO  
daddy dun: fuck off u two or bren might crush a city with his hUGE ASS FOREHEAD  
forehead: FUCK OFF ABOUT MY FOREHEAD OR ILL DO SOMETHINH ILLEGAL  
geesus: brendon what have u done that isnt illegal  
forehead: fair point but stILLu  
rayn: annnnnd brendon has jumped on a table  
kinky: he has also managed to trip up a mother and father and now the children are crying  
moikeh: all they wanted to do was eat taco bell  
geesus: for just one pound a day you can help these poor families from being torn apart from a hormonal 16 year old with an obscenely large forehead  
thanks pete: were all terrible people who are going to hell  
dead meme: im not surprised  
rayn: ok someone stop brendon  
kinky: DID HE JUST THROW A FUCKING TABLE AT THE DOOR  
geesus: how are you surprised tyler  
kinky: i actuslly dont know  
daddy dun: this was a bad idea  
moikeh: couldnt we go to prison for this  
dead meme: bren probably could  
rayn: FUCKIN STOP HIM BEFORE HE PICKS UP A CHILD  
geesus: IM ON IT  
rayn: ...  
rayn: NOT BY THROWING HIM OUTSIDE YOU MORON  
geesus: WHAT DO I DO THEN  
rayn: I DONT KNOW  
geesus: IM TAKING HIM HOME THEN  
rayn: GOOD IDEA  
forehead: HOLY SHET THST WAS WILD  
thanks pete: thats wild brendon

rayn sent a video [tap to view]

geesus: i stg this is going to stay with me until i die  
moikeh: how do u think the rest of the chat feels  
geesus: the exact same as me  
kinky: exactly  
forehead: shiiiiit im fuuuuucked  
daddy dun: wE FUCKING KNOW   
forehead: fuck u  
rayn: wheres fronky donkey  
fronk: oh fucl  
geesus: NAME CHANGE TIIIIME  
fronk: how gay can u get  
geesus: i can never be gay enough

geesus changed fronk's name to fronky donkey

geesus changed their name to werard gay

werard gay changed rayn's name to raynbow

raynbow: why  
werard gay: why not  
fronky donkey: i hate everyone and everything  
werard gay: i jusy hate brendon  
forehead: why me tho  
daddy dun: cuz ur the only one who did anything drastic  
forehead: good point  
forehead: i wish my forehead had a point so i could stab u with it  
kinky: thatd be a better point  
forehead: tyler gets it   
kinky: im just saying that if he had a portable knife stuck on his forehead hed have a good point  
forehead: thanks  
kinky: and also room for the rest of the kitchen  
forehead: ffs i liked u for one second  
kinky: your welcome


	11. ok so im not gonna bother with the titles bc no one reads them but if u do im proud of u and have a great day :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more weird shit ensues

werard gay: FUCKING RETARDS  
werard gay: WAKE UP  
raynbow: what a pleasant thing to wake up to  
werard gay: WERE BANNED FROM LIKE EVERY TB  
kinky: did u not think its bc its fucking 5am   
werard gay: oh yeah  
werard gay: i neEDED CLOSURE  
kinky: why do i even bother  
forehead: i dont fuckin know  
fronky donkey: i wanna make a poem ok u guys help  
raynbow: wtf  
fronky donkey: holy fuckles  
werard gay: hands have knuckles  
kinky: its just my luckles  
forehead: that we all like cuckles  
raynbow: u better buckles  
daddy dun: for the worst poem in existence  
fronky donkey: fuck off joshua

daddy dun changed fronky donkey's name to fuckles

daddy dun changed werard gay's name to knuckles

daddy dun changed kinky's name to luckles

daddy dun changed forehead's name to cuckles

daddy dun changed raynbow's name to buckles

fuckles: this is beautiful  
knuckles: i think im gonna cry  
daddy dun: haha yr a wuss  
knuckles: you're*  
daddy dun: biTCH WEVE ALL MADE MISTAKES  
cuckles: especially ur mom  
luckles: eh thats pretty overused  
dead meme: papa Pepe is bACK  
thanks pete: if pete comes, i come  
luckles: k i n k y  
thanks pete: ffs shut up  
dead meme: u shut up  
thanks pete: no  
dead meme: sCuSe Me BuT wHoS tHe BoTtOm HeRe  
fuckles: E X P O S E D  
thanks pete: i hate u all  
dead meme: apart from me ;)))))  
thanks pete: i hate u the most  
dead meme: fuckin rude  
buckles: HE SPELT RUDE RIGHT HOLY FACK  
dead meme: hail me peasants  
thanks pete: how bout no  
luckles: oof  
knuckles: o o f  
buckles: o o f  
fuckles: o o f  
thanks pete: STOP  
luckles: never  
thanks pete: fuck off gaywad  
luckles: bitch were all gay here  
thanks pete: f u c c  
moikeh: EVERYONE SAY GAY IF UR GAY  
luckles: no cuz we all know were all gay  
moikeh: shit u have a valid argument  
thanks pete: i think nobody knows its 5am go to sleep u twat dick bitch fucking fucker shit ass lookin motherfuckers  
cuckles: what the f u c c


	12. im not dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just read it its not an update btw

ok so im not gonna be updating for a while. im not dead and this fic is definitely not ending any time soon. i just need a break but ill try and update as soon as i can. sorry but have this:

imagine brendon urie dancing on a table wearing high heels and a skirt while ryan ross is blasting all star bass boosted in the background with tyler, josh, gerard, mikey, frank, patrick and of course pete dancing like theyre noodles trapped in the human form.

have a nice day :)


	13. GUESS WHOS BACK BOIIIIIS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mainly brendon, patrick sorta ty and pete as well but still  
> anyways im back bois so enjoy

dead meme: oi  
moikeh: i stfg if u pull that repeated shit again ill takd ur phones and shove them so far up ur asses u youll get another wifi signal  
luckles: what thr actual fucking fuck  
thanks pete: i hate everyone  
cuckles: wE FUCKIN KNOW PATTYCAKES  
thanks pete: OH FUCK OFF U DICK TWAT ASS MUNCHING LAWNMOWER LOOKIN ASS BITCH FUCKIN TOE MOTHERFUCKER

daddy dun renamed the group to holy fuck lads shits goin down

daddy dun: oi oi lads here we go  
luckles: never call us lads again  
daddy dun: lads  
luckles: fuck off  
daddy dun: fuck u  
thanks pete: FUCK ALL OF YOU  
thanks pete: ...  
cuckles: HAHAHAHAHAAAA FUCKER  
thanks pete: BRENDON. CHANGE THE FUCKING SETTINGS BEFORE I CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR GOD DAMN THROAT.  
thanks pete: OH WAIT ITS TOO FUCKIN SMALL  
cuckles: ITS BIGGER THAN URS CUZ U OBVIOUSLY HAVE MORE DICK IN UR PERSONALITY THAN IN UR PANTS U ASSHAT  
luckles: STOP FUCKING ARGUING BEFORE I GLUE UR ASSES TOGETHER  
cuckles: hes pissing me off  
thanks pete: oh really?  
luckles: what happened to mama stump  
thanks pete: fuck off tyler  
luckles: no. ur guidance counsellor will be here for as long as ur anger issues continue asshole  
thanks pete: bren please change the settings  
cuckles: ill change them when dogs learn to drive cars u fuckin scone  
thanks pete: FUCK YOU  
luckles: HEY  
luckles: inside voices please  
thanks pete: fuck you  
luckles: better :)  
cuckles: i love how everyone else has backed off  
luckles: fuck it im becomin the guidance counsellor

luckles changed their name to guidance counsellor ty

guidance counsellor ty: so how are you two today  
thanks pete: ffs ty please fucking stop  
guidance counsellor ty: okay so bc ur bein negative i take ur not ok  
knuckles: IM NOOOOOOT OOOOOKAAAAAAAY  
guidance counsellor ty: excuse me but this office is fucking closed  
knuckles: shiet  
guidance counsellor ty: fuck ot im making another chat

Tyler Joseph made a new chat.

Tyler Joseph added Brendon Urie and Patrick Stump to Untitled Group

Tyler Joseph renamed the group to tylers office

Tyler Joseph changed their name to guidance counsellor ty

guidance counsellor ty: ok  
Patrick Stump: i fycking hate u  
Brendon Urie: oi dont br so rude  
Patrick Stump: FUCK OFF I DO WHAT I WANT  
Brendon Urie: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Patrick Stump: OH FUCK YOU  
guidance counsellor ty: CALM THE FUCK DOWN OK  
Patrick Stump: FUCK OFF  
Brendon Urie: ADD PETE 

guidance counsellor ty added Pete Wentz to tylers office

Pete Wentz changed their name to petey boi

guidance counsellor ty: ok pete calm these fuckers down or i swear  
petey boi: aight  
guidance counsellor ty: ffs dont ever say aight again  
petey boi: ok jeez  
Brendon Urie: FUCK OFF PATTYCAKES  
Patrick Stump: FUCK YOU BRANDON URINE  
Brendon Urie: OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER  
petey boi: YOU LITTLE FUCKERS LISTEN UP  
Patrick Stump: WHAT THE FUCK  
petey boi: U EITHER SAY YES SIR OR NOTHIN AT ALL SOLDIER  
petey boi: THIS IS GUIDANCE COUNSELLING SOLDIER  
Brendon Urie: what the fuuuuuuuck  
Patrick Stump: idfk  
guidance counselling ty: could we maybe be a bit quieter  
petey boi: NO  
guidance counsellor ty: ok ;_;  
Patrick Stump: just fucking get on with it ffs  
petey boi: NOW U TWO NEED TO GET UR ATTITUDE FIXED BY THE TIME I LOWER MY VOice  
Patrick Stump: im scared  
Brendon Urie: me too  
petey boi: now listen to tyler  
Patrick Stump: okay?  
Brendon Urie: im quaking  
guidance counsellor ty: ok... so first find something about eachother thats nice  
Brendon Urie: patrick can actually not be a complete aSSHAT at times  
Patrick Stump: brendon has a big forehead but that just makes him more useful in a zombie apocalypse  
guidance counsellor ty: ok umm  
guidance counsellor ty: now keep it up i guess  
Patrick Stump: ok :)  
Brendon Urie: got it :)

guidance counsellor ty removed Patrick Stump from tylers office  
guidance counsellor ty removed Brendon Urie from tylers office

~Back to holy fuck lads shits goin down~

daddy dun: how ya feel  
thanks pete: i feel enlightened  
cuckles: yeah i think im gonna go round my neighbourhood and give everyone a piece of lettuce  
thanks pete: wait for me :)  
cuckles: of course friend :)  
daddy dun: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO  
guidance counsellor ty: I DONT FUCKING KNOW  
dead meme: DW I GOT THIS  
dead meme: hey brendon  
cuckles: yes friend? :)  
dead meme: remember when patrick called you brandon  
cuckles: . . .  
dead meme: hey patrick  
thanks pete: what is it friend? i always have time for you :)  
dead meme: remember when brendon called u pattycakes  
thanks pete: . . .  
cuckles: you fucking assbag  
thanks pete: is your forehead too big for your asshole  
cuckles: ur a fuckin cactus bc everything about you makes u a prick  
thanks pete: did it hurt when ur mom threw u at a goalpost bc ur head reminded her of a rugby ball  
cuckles: at least i have balls  
thanks pete: at least i have a dick  
cuckles: pat, just bc youve given 1000 people blowjobs doesnt mean u have a dick <3  
thanks pete: ur parents were in that group of people xx  
cuckles: i fucking hate you  
thanks pete: i fucking despise you  
dead meme: perfect


	14. OH MY FUCKING GOD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ao3 is being a complete and utter dickbag

i was tryna update but then ao3 fucking cut my chapter down to a few sentences so i was like "oh fuck that" and tried again but it still didnt do it so i was a lil bit pissed off and now im writing this. let me type out my frustration level but with an angry face with a bunch lf chins

actually no fuck that

anyways ill try and update again to see if it works so this was pointless so just carry on with ur day i guess

bye frens


	15. i stg this better fucking work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS BETTER FUCKING WORK OR I SWEAR

daddy dun: ok so  
dead meme: so  
guidance counsellor ty: so  
thanks pete: fuck off w that repeated shit  
knuckles: hipocrite  
guidance counsellor ty: hi patrick how are u  
thanks pete: i feel like shit u asshat  
guidance counsellor ty: the fuck u say bout me  
thanks pete: ur an asshat  
guidance counsellor ty: boi ill beat yo ass you stupid ass bitch boi ill fuckin kill yo sorry ass n ill make u cry ya lil broke bitch ass boi  
thanks pete: oi m8 ill beat yo ass harder than u beat mine u fucking asshat boi  
daddy dun: SHUT  
daddy dun: THE  
daddy dun: FUCK  
daddy dun: UP  
dead meme: oooo  
thanks pete: bitch u mine and i stfg if u cheat on me EVER ill hand ur fucking ass to u  
knuckles: OOOO DAYMN DIS BIATCH FIESTYYY  
moikeh: u sound like a fucking 56 year old woman that tries to sound young bc she likes beyonce  
dead meme: HOW FUCKING D A R E YOU INSULT BEYONCE YOU LITTLE SHIT  
moikeh: biTCH BEYONCE SUCKS  
dead meme: OH FUCK OFF  
guidance counsellor ty: would you like a trip to tys office  
moikeh: TAKE THAT FUCKING OFFICE AND SHOVE IT UP UR ASS YOU FUCKING DICK TWAT  
guidance counsellor ty: i sense an abundance of negativity here

fuckles changed their name to fuck off

fuck off: im here too lmao its lit 


	16. lets try again then shall we (ao3 ya dickhead)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry

knuckles: WHAT THE FUCC HAPPENED TO MY DANK FRANK  
fuck off: lmfao mate u dont understand how lit it is rn  
fuck off: fUjtue)-+6363Suoocdffaaaa£9756363338;£geosbrtsb79* *℅$§ ℅$=  
fuck off: FOR FUCKS SAKE  
fuck off: oo wait hang on

fuck off changed their name to dank frank

knuckles: what u traitor  
dank frank: SOMEONE TOOK MY FUCKING PHONE AND STARTED TEXTING SHIT  
knuckles: how should i beliebe that  
moikeh: ur a belieber  
knuckles: fuck you you piece of shet  
dank frank: juss truss me  
dank frank: wait wheres pete  
dead meme: aight m8 what u want  
dank frank: rename gerard  
knuckles: f u c c 

dead meme changed knuckles's name to de wae

de wae: i stfg is this supposed to link to ur name  
dead meme: yea  
dank frank: ffs ugandan knuckles is fuckin dead  
daddy dun: look at all the d's  
guidance counsellor ty: fitting cuz ur all a bunch of dicks   
de wae: HE DID NOT  
dank frank: DID TYLER JUST USE AN INSULT THAT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD  
dead meme: find out on the newest episode of the jeremy kyle show  
dank frank: *flashes of the new episode* tyler, do you stand by your statement of everyone in your group chat being dicks? yes. *more flashbacks* we have completed the tests. is tyler the father?   
daddy dun: daddy dun doesnt think so  
guidance counsellor ty: fuck off u little shet

cuckles changed dead meme's name to deremy kyle

cuckles: gotta keep up the ds  
deremy kyle: thx buddy

deremy kyle changed cuckles's name to dr endon urie

dr endon urie: henlo i is ur dactor todey  
guidance counsellor ty: WHAT THE FUCK  
dr endon urie: ooo ur name is loking a beet iall todey tylre

dr endon urie changed guidance counsellor ty's name to die

die: i love it thanks dr endon urie  
dank frank: all the ds commence  
dr endon urie: d d d d d d  
die: d d d d d d  
dank frank: d d d d d d  
deremy kyle: d d d d d d   
de wae: d d d d d d  
daddy dun: d d d d d d  
dank frank: we must sacrifice one that is not our own  
buckles: ok im back from my day trip  
daddy dun: did u get tb  
buckles: u bet ur sweet ass i got tb  
dank frank: S A C R I F I C E  
daddy dun: fuck that this bitch got tb

daddy dun changed buckles's name to dry and rinss

dry and rinss: is that a fucking joke about my name  
daddy dun: instead of ryan its dry and bc that sounds like ryan haha  
dry and rinss: i might not give u tb anymore  
daddy dun: w a i t n o


	17. im back again with another chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is based on a conversation i had on discord lmao

daddy dun: OK SO I HAVE A PROBLEM  
dank frank: we all have problems and ur one of them  
daddy dun: FUCK OFF   
daddy dun: ANYWAY I HAVE WEETABIX FUCKING STUCK IN MY THROAT AND I CANT GET IT OUT  
die: u think thats bad? bitch i have a fuckin mosquito trapped under a glass and idk wtf to do  
dry and rinss: e a t i t  
die: wtf no  
dank frank: josh drink loads  
daddy dun: FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT IVE NECKED LIKE 20 GALLONS OF FUCKIN MILK  
die: its flying around the glass h e l p  
dr endon urie: henlo tylr its ur dactor todey  
daddy dun: ARE YOU SHITTING ME I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION  
die: fuck off josh i need more help than u just go to tge hospital  
daddy dun: I DINT WANT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GET FUCKING WEETABIX REMOVED FTOM MH THROAT  
dry and rinss: ty just eat it  
die: it doesnt have my five a day tho  
dry and rinss: e a t  
dry and rinss: i t  
die: no  
dry and rinss: a tasty snacc xx  
die: i was thinking of drowning it but can mosquitoes drown  
dank frank: idk probably  
deremy kyle: i think its like fleas that cant drown  
daddy dun: I STILL HAVE WEETABIX STUCK IN MY THROAT  
die: idk how to help u bc weetabix sucks :/  
daddy dun: true but there was nothing else to eat  
dank frank: even with a shitload of sugar its still fucking bad  
deremy kyle: just stick something down ur throat n wiggle it  
daddy dun: o shit good idea  
die: ok im back  
dank frank: what happened  
die: i tried to drown it but there was an air bubble in the cup so it could breathe and then it was able to swim and then it flew away which fucking terrified me  
de wae: o shit m8 i just woke up  
dead meme: PETES BACK BITCHES  
moikeh: ffs why am i here  
de wae: where tf is patrick  
thanks pete: u called  
dead meme: o hi pat  
de wae: i fucking hate my name

de wae changed their name to fuck the ds

fuck the ds: fite me bitch  
dead meme: *gasp*  
die: *inhale*  
daddy dun: *exhale*  
moikeh: *breath*  
dank frank: *the act of inhaling a small or large amount of air and exhaling it in order to function*  
deremy kyle: *sigh*  
dr endon urie: should i reschedule ur appointments then  
fuck the ds: fuck  
moikeh: off  
die: brendon  
dr endon urie: okie :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is short i ran out of time to make it longer but enjoy anyways :D


	18. EYY IM NOT DEAD ANYMORE AND HERES ANOTHER SHITTY CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> debating

die: right ok so i have a problem  
moikeh: everyone always has a fuckin problem like deal with it yourself  
die: yeah but i really need your help  
dr endon urie: what is it  
die: uh  
die: me and josh are having an argument  
daddy dun: dammit tyler its not a fucking argument   
die: weLL WHAT THE FUCK IS IT THEN  
daddy dun: ITS A FUCKING DEBATE AND PERSONALLY I THINK MINECRAFT IS BETTER THAN ROBLOX  
die: FUCK YOU ROBLOX IS BETTER  
moikeh: OI  
moikeh: STOP IT  
fuck the ds: guys seriously i have to get up at 5am tomorrow stfu  
deremy kyle: go to sleep then u asshat  
fuck the ds: i can when every five fucking seconds my phones going off  
deremy kyle: GERARD ARTHUR WAY PUT YPUR GOD DAMN PHONE ON SILENT  
fuck the ds: oh yeah whiips  
fuck the ds: waIT NO SHIT I MEANT WHOOPS

moikeh changed fuck the ds's name to whiips

whiips: i hate u all  
thanks pete: see now you get it  
dry and rinss: haha i just had my first shower in a month i feel great  
moikeh: D I S G U S T I N G  
whiips: ew  
dr endon urie: how did i get so lucky  
deremy kyle: ey ryan hit me up ykwis ;)))  
die: ROBLOX IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME OK  
daddy dun: NO ITS FUCKING NOT MINECRAFT IS SO MUCH BETTER  
dry and rinss: right ok so tyler why do u think roblox is better

dry and rinss changed die's name to roblox fan  
dry and rinss changed daddy dun's name to minecraft fan

roblox fan: well first it created the OOF meme which is ICONIC. then theres the hd quality graphics which actually contain a variety of shapes. also it has loads of games and u can chat to friends easier. THERE.  
minecraft fan: yeah but minecraft has loads of animals that u can name and not fucking lumpy ass abominations. then theres the building which is amazing bc u can create so much more with it. then theres other fucking dimensions u can go into with an entire variety of other monsters. sO THERE.  
roblox fan: yea but minecraft doesnt have ways to change ur avatar how u want it to look  
minecraft fan: *gasp*  
deremy kyle: OK SO EVERYONE BUT TY AND JOSH SAY R FOR ROBLOX OR M FIR MINECRAFT  
whiips: r  
moikeh: r  
dry and rinss: m  
dr endon urie: r  
dank frank: r  
dead meme: m  
deremy kyle: *cough cough* m *cough cough*  
roblox fan: ROBLOX IS BETTER JOSH SO THERE HAHA U SQUARE ASS FUCKER  
minecraft fan: FUCC U GUYS

minecraft fan changed roblox fan's name to yiff

yiff: that was fucking random  
minecraft fan: ik but the yiff  
yiff: ok  
minecraft fan: what if roblox and minecraft were both good  
yiff: o shit u rite

yiff changed minecraft fan's name to jiff

jiff: frens  
yiff: no  
yiff: gay frens  
jiff: ye  
deremy kyle: fuck im crying  
dank frank: im so emotional rn holy shit  
whiips: guys i have to get up in fifteen minutes and i havent slept all night  
moikeh: shit so do i  
yiff: u cant wake up if u never fell asleep in the first place  
jiff: shit he right  
dr endon urie: ...  
dr endon urie: why tf do u need to get up at five am  
whiips: bc were goin to a magical place  
yiff: narnia  
moikeh: shit he got it  
whiips: fuck  
deremy kyle: is it bc u actually wanted a decent nights sleep so u had to pretend u were going somewhere  
whiips: ...  
moikeh: ...  
whiips: nah m8 were goin australia  
moikeh: DAMMIT GERARD WE WERENT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM  
whiips: haha oops  
moikeh: ffs i cant trust u with anything  
whiips: im hurt ngl  
moikeh: u should be


	19. o shit guess whos back after 356 years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit happens
> 
> im fuckin terrible at updating holy fucc

yiff: so  
deremy kyle: dont u fucking dare u braindead earthworm  
yiff: wow ok hello to u too  
deremy kyle: bih stfu  
dank frank: BEEF  
jiff: CHEESE  
dead meme: LETTUCE  
dry and rinss: TACO BELL  
jiff: i love word association games  
yiff: how many fucking times have we said that joke  
dr endon urie: fuck off im in class  
yiff: holy shit  
yiff: when did brendon start caring about his education  
dry and rinss: not for long  
jiff: tf  
dry and rinss: BEENDON ASSERT UR DOMINANCE TO THE TEACHERS

dr endon urie changed their name to beendon

beendon: AAAAAAAAAAAAA  
jiff: wtf  
jiff: wait hang on a min i gotta film this shit  
yiff: what the fucks goin on  
deremy kyle: idfk  
yiff: we need patrick  
deremy kyle: on it  
deremy kyle: PETRACK STIMP  
thanks pete: s u m m o n e d  
dead meme: holy shit

deremy kyle changed thanks pete's name to petrick stimp

petrick stimp: now my children, what is it u need me to help with  
yiff: brendon is apparently asserting dominance in class  
petrick stimp: i need evidence  
yiff: JUSH DAN

yiff changed jiff's name to jush dan

jush dan sent a video [tap to view]

petrick stimp: ok. brendon, why the fuck did you jump on to your desk, stand completely straight and stick out your arms while screaming "je mange des bébés", before getting sent to detention  
beendon: i needed to assert dominance  
petrick stimp: k  
jush dan: is that it  
yiff: yeah, we're out of ideas  
jush dan: oh hell fuckin no  
jush dan: DESPAYEETO 3  
yiff: josh, just stop  
jush dan: fuck  
petrick stimp: fuck it

petrick stimp changed yiff's name to tylur jasiph

tylur jasiph: u wot  
petrick stimp: stfu im concentrating

petrick stimp changed beendon's name to brondin erai

brondin erai: ello i is hea to seel you sum flooers

petrick stimp changed deremy kyle's name to pati wuntz  
petrick stimp changed moikeh's name to makuy wey  
petrick stimp changed whiips's name to garurd wey  
petrick stimp changed dry and rinss's name to ryin ress

petrick stimp: fuck it im done  
ryin ress: i think gerard and mikey are still in the plane  
pati wuntz: are we all going to ignore the art that is my name  
brondin erai: ahem  
tylur jasiph: absolutely gorgeous honay  
ryin ress: shut the fuck up tyler  
tylur jasiph: fuck off u weird ass gross lookin ass bitch ill shoot ur family  
ryin ress: bih  
brondin erai: my mom explained gay sex to me when i was 7  
jush dan: im more concerned at how brendon literally just yelled "i eat babies" while t posing on a desk in front of our french teacher  
ryin ress: shit


	20. holy shit im back again lads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more shit happens idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck it im makin a schedule
> 
> ILL UPDATE ON MONDAYS AND FRIDAYS STARTING NEXT WEEK BC OTHERWISE I DONT FUCKING UPDATE

ryin ress: WADDUP BITCHEEEES  
jush dan: wtf are u gonna get starbucks or something  
brondin erai: lol hopefully bc bITCH I AM THIRSTAY  
pati wuntz: oh my fucking god please kill me  
tylur jasiph: what the fuck  
tylur jasiph: what the fuck  
tylur jasiph: what the fuck dude  
tyler jasiph: you're messed up  
petrick stimp: stfu tyler no one cares  
tylur jasiph: fuck u  
makuy wey: is everyone just going to ignore the fact that ryan is malfunctioning  
garurd wey: lmfao ryans a fucking robot

jush dan changed ryin ress's name to robot ryan

robot ryan: i didnt ask for this  
jush dan: shut up rysn its beautiful  
jush dan: shit i meant ryqn  
jush dan: fuck i mean rydn  
makuy wey: haha ryden  
jush dan: FUCKK i mean ryen  
jush dan: ffs i mean rywn  
jush dan: FUCKING FINGER A GOOSE  
tylur jasiph: the fuck?  
jush dan: I MEAN RYZN  
jush dan: FUCKING FUUUUUUUUCK  
jush dan: I MEAN FUCKING RYXN  
jush dan: R Y A N FUCKING R O S S  
garurd wey: holy shit man  
petrick stimp: I CANT FUCKING BREATH  
brondin erai: "R Y A N FUCKING R O S S" - Joshua William Dun  
tylur jasiph: "FUCKING FINGER A GOOSE" - Joshua William Dun  
pati wuntz: stop with the fucking quotes you absolute fucking plebs  
brondin erai: wait a minute can we just take a moment to appreciate how tyler managed to rhyme up with fuck  
petrick stimp: stfu fuck rhymes with everything  
pati wuntz: buck  
tylur jasiph: chuck  
garurd wey: duck  
robot ryan: luck  
jush dan: muck  
makuy wey: haha my username thing sounds like that one dude from south park  
petrick stimp: god fucking dammit mikey ill never be able to unsee/unhear that  
tylur jasiph: gerard arthur way control your uncultured swine of a brother  
garurd wey: bish why  
tylur jasiph: "that one dude from south park" bITCH I THINK THATS MR MACKEY YOU PIECE OF SHIT  
makuy wey: SHUTTHEFUCKUPIKNEWTHAT  
robot ryan: anyone notice how tyler always gets into arguments here  
brondin erai: holy shit u fuckin rite  
jush dan: tyler ya fuckin plum stop fighting or ill take away ur taco bell voucher  
tylur jasiph: o shit sorry   
jush dan: u better fucking be  
garurd wey: i fucking love how tyler didnt even deny it  
tylur jasiph: honesty is the best policy for this wonderful, clean group chat :)  
robot ryan: SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH MY FUCKING TOE FUCKING DICK BITCH COCK DIDDLY DARN GOSH HECKING DARNIT CRAP  
tylur jasiph: you've crossed the fucking line  
garurd wey: i smell hipocrisy   
jush dan: at least we're all honest  
brondin erai: im smert  
jush dan: just throw that out the window why dont you  
pati wuntz: asshat  
petrick stimp: *tips fedora in disappointment*  
pati wuntz: o shit hes using asterisks ur fucked now brendon  
brondin erai: oh noes (T~T)  
garurd wey: put that weeb shit away RIGHT FUCKING NOW  
brondin erai: UnU s-sorry senpai... *blushes*  
garurd wey: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKING TWAT  
brondin erai: OwO ooh!~ senpai is so coot when hes angry~  
garurd wey: YOU WANNA PULL THAT WEEB SHIT HUH? ILL CAVE YOUR SKULL IN THEN SHOOT YOU IN THE LEG THEN ILL FUCK THE BULLET WOUND  
pati wuntz: woah  
petrick stimp: calm down there BUDDY  
garurd wey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
brondin erai: i regret nothing


	21. ey look at me keeping up this schedule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im not even gonna bother with summaries anymore

pati wuntz: guys i have a test tomorrow  
robot ryan: oh fuck do we all have tests  
tylur jasiph: shit shit shit  
pati wuntz: the fitness gram pacer test is a multi-stage arabic capacity test  
petrick stimp: i fucking hate you  
jush dan: i fel like he worded it wrong  
robot ryan: PETE FUCKING WENTZ I WANT TO PUT YOU IN A BATH WITH A TOASTER  
pati wuntz: it wouldnt kill me...  
robot ryan: tf? yes it fucking would dumbass  
pati wuntz: no, id be in an empty bath with a toaster that isnt even plugged in  
garurd wey: o shit guess whos back  
brondin erai: me too motherfuckers  
robot ryan: SON OF A BITCH  
brondin erai: DAUGHTER OF A DICK  
jush dan: FATHER OF A lovely person  
garurd wey: MOTHER OF another lovely person  
tylur jasiph: so its just the parents that suck  
makuy wey: so how did they raise decent children  
pati wuntz: oh shit hes right  
petrick stimp: brendon can i ask u a favor  
brondin erai: i DoNt KnOw, CaN yOu?  
petrick stimp: yea  
brondin erai: shit ok  
petrick stimp: can you please kICK PETE FOR USING THE WORST FUCKING MEMES  
brondin erai: i DoNt KnOw, CaN i?  
petrick stimp: yes you fucking wet towel  
pati wuntz: H A L T  
robot ryan: *gasps*  
tylur jasiph: sHITS GOING DOOOOOWN  
jush dan: *bursts through door* HEEEERES PETEY  
garurd wey: stfu u mug  
jush dan: fuk off  
brondin erai: ok shhhhhhhhhhhh u pomegranates shits happening  
tylur jasiph: NO NO NO POMEGRANATES  
brondin erai: im torn, lads  
brondin erai: do i kill pete or destroy patrick? VOTE NOW FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A FREE GOLDFISH  
garurd wey: holy fucking shit  
petrick stimp: fuckin GET RID OF PETE  
brondin erai: no  
petrick stimp: why not  
brondin erai: i dont have a goldfish  
tylur jasiph: bitch you are a goldfish  
makuy wey: shrekpacito

brondin erai removed makuy wey from holy fuck lads shits goin down

garurd wey: holy shit its been so fucking long since we changed the group name  
brondin erai: oh fuk u rite lol

brondin erai changed the group name to how bout u fuck off

tylur jasiph: it has gained my approval  
garurd wey: anyways aDD MIKEY BACK YOU FUCKING WET SOCK IN A PILLOWCASE  
brondin erai: the fuck?  
garurd wey: DO IT YA FUCKIN PRICK

brondin erai added makuy wey to how bout u fuck off

makuy wey: i have seen unspeakable things  
petrick stimp: bitch ive seen petes dick how the fuck do u think i feel  
makuy wey: worse than me probably  
petrick stimp: exactly  
petrick stimp: dickhead  
makuy wey: aww :(  
tylur jasiph: patrick isnt joking around anymore lads  
jush dan: aw shit  
robot ryan: i wasted my best material on that shithead  
petrick stimp: """""best"""""" material  
robot ryan: fuck off  
petrick stimp: not today bitch  
tylur jasiph: heard ya say   
tylur jasiph: not today  
garurd wey: shut up  
tylur jasiph: k bb  
jush dan: are u cheating on me  
tylur jasiph: nah bitch lol  
jush dan: oh ok then lmao we good fam  
robot ryan: i swear to god i wanna fuckin die  
garurd wey: dont we all


	22. ello again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some *lip smack* *cough* *inhale* *exhale*
> 
>  
> 
> DRAMA  
> (sort of)

brondin erai: shut uuuuup  
robot ryan: no one said anything?  
tylur jasiph: shut the fuck up you twat bag looking dickwinkles  
jush dan: everyones so fucking hostile like calm tf down  
garurd wey: stooop i coulda dropped my croissant  
makuy wey: rOaD wOrK aHeAd? Uh YeAh I sUrE hOpE iT dOeS  
tylur jasiph: honest to fucking god

brondin erai removed garurd wey from how bout u fuck off  
brondin erai removed makuy wey from how bout u fuck off

brondin erai: everthing fucking suckss

tylur jasiph changed their name to guidance counsellor ty

guidance counsellor ty: guess whos back bITCHEEES

brondin erai removed guidance counsellor ty from how bout u fuck off

jush dan: holy shit brendon calm down  
brondin erai: fuck off  
jush dan: wAIT DONT FUCKING REMOVE ME

brondin erai removed jush dan from how bout u fuck off

brondin erai: everythings gone to shit  
robot ryan: how?  
brondin erai: it just has. u wouldnt understand  
robot ryan: whatever it is, well support you  
pati wuntz: seriously ive nevsr seen him like this  
brondin erai: just leave me alone.  
robot ryan: not until you tell us and add ty, josh, gerard and mikey back  
brondin erai: fuck you

brondin erai added guidance counsellor ty, jush dan, garurd wey and makuy wey to how bout u fuck off

guidance counsellor ty changed their name to toylor

toylor: i had to  
jush dan: stfu ty brendons fuckin upset  
brondin erai: YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.  
robot ryan: BRENDON BOYD URIE, TELL US WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON YOU STALE HAM SANDWICH  
brondin erai: no. go away.  
toylor: brendon please  
toylor: were worried.  
jush dan: whatevers happende, were here for u  
garurd wey: please  
makuy wey: we wont judge you  
brondin erai: ...fine  
brondin erai: the thing is...  
brondin erai: I dropped my fucking taco bell voucher in the toilet  
toylor: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW  
jush dan: OHHH MY FUCKING GOD I HATE YOU  
makuy wey: gerard just slammed his head on to his desk  
makuy wey: look

makuy wey sent an image [tap to view]

robot ryan: BRENDON BOYD URIE I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU  
brondin erai: IM CRYINH OG MY FUCKIG GOOOOD THIS IS PTICELESS  
toylor: i think gerard is bleeding  
petrick stimp: what did we expect from brendon urie of all people  
pati wuntz: good point to be fair  
toylor: is everyone goinf to ignore gerard  
garurd wey: oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit  
makuy wey: dw tyler he just rammed his head into a bottle of ketchup hes fine  
toylor: it doesnt fucking sound like it  
makuy wey: true but its gerard, what can we   
do  
brondin erai: ur all losers lmfaooooooooo  
brondin erai: wait  
pati wuntz: fuck you  
brondin erai: stfu someones ib my house  
brondin erai: im gonna record it  
brondin erai: OH MY GCJOCIDJTDIV J CVK KvnfjjfxhjgtiiyhfjFUTJCN,CN$°{°  
pati wuntz: wtf  
makuy wey: holy shit  
garurd wey: p e n i s  
toylor: shut up

brondin erai sent a video [tap to view]

robot ryan: hell be fine dw lads  
jush dan: DID YOU BREAK HIS FUCKING NOSE  
robot ryan: probably  
toylor: wow  
toylor: all of this bc of a tb voucher  
toylor: moral of the story: taco bell ruins lives  
petrick stimp: we've sunk to a new low  
jush dan: isnt it great  
petrick stimp: not in my opinion  
jush dan: careful or ryan might bREAK YOUR MOTHERFUCKING NOSE  
petrick stimp: SHIT


	23. well shit

right so youre probably wondering why i didnt update for a week  
good question, but unfortunately i dont have a fucking good excuse other than my pure stupidity

hERES WHAT FUCKIN HAPPENED:

ok so i was going camping for a week and i was like "oh i should probably update before the trip" but then my stupid ass thought "eh there will probably be wifi at the campsite" bITCH WHAT  
so i didnt update on the sunday and when i left on monday it was like "surprise bitch, youre retarded bc theres no way there will be wifi at the bloody campsite"  
so then i had to feel guilty as fuck for not updating because i was stupid and thought a FUCKING CAMPSITE WOULD HAVE WIFI BITCH WTF

so anyways  
ill do two updates on the monday and two updates on the friday and then were back to normal

 

honest to god what campsite has wifi  
also i hate camping  
haha  
i hate myself sometimes


	24. im back lads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some stuff
> 
>  
> 
> also ill do the next update tomorrow bc its currently midnight and im fucking exhausted
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> also /spoilers/
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *cough* fourth wall breaks *cough*

jush dan: RIGHT.  
jush dan: WHO FUCKING DID IT  
petrick stimp: please dont pull a brendon on us now  
brondin erai: oi  
toylor: im so sorry josh  
jush dan: TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH, TAKING MY PHONE AND TELLING MY FUCKING MOM THAT I FUCKED MY DAD CANNOT BE FIXED WITH IM SORRY  
toylor: im still fucking crying  
toylor: her response was just "so did i, josh" and i fucking lost it  
petrick stimp: holy shit ty  
robot ryan: did you take pictures  
toylor: one

toylor sent an image [tap to view]

garurd wey: iM CRYINH OMFG  
toylor: so am i, gerard  
garurd wey: DONT DO THIS TO ME  
brondin erai: i still havent forgiven u ryan  
robot ryan: just get a new sniffer, retard  
brondin erai: where the fuck do i get a new nose  
robot ryan: frOM THE FUCKING SNIFFER SHOP SHITHEAD  
brondin erai: BITCH THERES NO SUCH THING

pati wuntz sent an image [tap to view]

pati wuntz: bye losers  
makuy wey: is everyone gonna ignore the situation josh is in rn  
brondin erai: are you fucking serious  
robot ryan: see  
robot ryan: theres the sniffer shop  
garurd wey: IM STILL LAUGHING  
jush dan: i fucking hate you tyler  
toylor: bitch as fucking if   
jush dan: seriously  
toylor: you know you love me ;)  
jush dan: ill break your arms xx  
toylor: damn no need to be *lip smacc* s a l t y  
jush dan: dont fucking tempt me  
jush dan: dickhead  
garurd wey: oi josh  
jush dan: what you salted caramel twat  
garurd wey: s o d i d i, j o s h  
brondin erai: lmfao  
brondin erai: also that sniffer shop is for drugs  
robot ryan: uh, yadoy?  
makuy wey: tf  
robot ryan: ffs  
robot ryan: ya dont say?  
brondin erai: if u kbow how i feel, why would u say that  
petrick stimp: psssst brendon  
brondin erai: dont do a josh dun on me now  
jush dan: OI  
petrick stimp: g e t a n e w f u c k i n g s n i f f e r  
brondin erai: ITS NOT THST FUCKIN EASY ALRIGHT  
toylor: road work ahead  
toylor: uh yeah i sure hope it does  
makuy wey: shut the goose duck chicken pigeon whale swan ostrich up  
petrick stimp: one of those doesn't belong  
garurd wey: i GENUINELY CANT BREATHE  
garurd wey: IM SCARED NOW  
jush dan: suffocate  
makuy wey: asphyxiate  
petrick stimp: mikey you're gerard's brother and you're telling him ti asphyxiate  
makuy wey: tbf tho it is gerard were talking about  
dank frank: HOLY SHIT GUESS WHOS BACK YOU SHIT EATING MOTHERFUCKERS  
toylor: OH MY FUCKING GOD FRANKS ALIVE

toylor changed dank frank's name to lord fenk

lord fenk: I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED  
garurd wey: MY LOVE  
petrick stimp: name a more iconic duo. ill wait  
makuy wey: this is nearly more romantic than romeo and juliet  
brondin erai: nearly?  
makuy wey: *loads cannon* it must be done  
lord fenk: FRONKY DONKEY IS BACK BITCHES  
toylor: this is more exciting than when our hiatus ended  
robot ryan: tyler. stop it.  
toylor: we need a couple fourth wall breaks every once in a while, ryan  
toylor: how else would we weird the reader out?  
robot ryan: sHUT UP  
toylor: k  
jush dan: this just got weird  
lord fenk: god fucking dammit tyler  
toylor: :)  
garurd wey: wtf are they on about  
makuy wey: idfk  
brondin erai: me neither  
garurd wey: fRANKS BAAACK AND IM STILL DYING BC OF SO DID I, JOSH

brondin erai renamed the group chat to so did i, josh

jush dan: fuck off u twats  
brondin erai: you love us and you know it  
jush dan: i only love lord fenk  
lord fenk: good peasant  
toylor: im fucking betrayed  
robot ryan: theres something between you two  
toylor: i know  
toylor: a FOURTH wall  
robot ryan: STOP IT TYLER  
toylor: ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking forgot about frank for so many chapters and im mad at myself lmfao


	25. I FORGOT WHAT DAY IT WAS OH SHIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> intellectualness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i didnt update yesterday i forgot what fuckin day it was lmao  
> also ill do the two extra updates next week maybe idfk  
> also its short but so is frank
> 
> (aka its short bc im not funny anymore part 26)

lord fenk: yooooo its fuckin christmad ladz  
toylor: frank, i need to tell you...  
lord fenk: oh shit wot  
toylor: ...  
toylor: ITS FUCKING AUGUST DIPSHIT  
robot ryan: you called  
toylor: ryan dont doubt yourself sweetie youre not a dipshit  
robot ryan: thanks?  
toylor: youre just shit  
robot ryan: ding ding ding, there it fuckin is  
jush dan: o shit ello  
garurd wey: *whispers* s o d i d i, j o s h  
jush dan: FOR FUCKS SAKE LET IT GO GERARD YOU MOTHERFUCKER  
garurd wey: NO YOU FATHERFUCKER  
brondin erai: oh fuck he got u there josh  
petrick stimp: hello you fucking fruit baskets, i would like to bring a sprinkle of innocence here. whats the best pie?  
toylor: apple  
jush dan: semen  
garurd wey: your dads semen  
jush dan: stfu dickhead  
brondin erai: potato pie  
garurd wey: pumpkin pie motherfuckers  
makuy wey: none  
makuy wey: pie is literal shit  
petrick stimp: fucking hell  
petrick stimp: only tyler and gerard were reasonable here  
pati wuntz: fUCKING GUMMY BEAR PIE  
petrick stimp: fuck yes  
lord fenk: noooo chrimad pye  
petrick stimp: frank are you fucking drunk

pati wuntz changed lord fenk's name to chrimad pye

lord fenk: I suppose I should admit to the consumption of liquids containing a high amount of alcohol and that I would prefer to be more cautious of consuming alcoholic beverages in a short amount of time in the near future.

pati wuntz changed chrimad pye's name to albert fuckin einstein

petrick stimp: holy shit frank  
albert fuckin einstein: You appear to be troubled by my previous statement. May I ask why?  
toylor: you're under the influence of alcohol and you don't usually act like this so it's considered unnatural for you to speak more civilized regarding the current conditions you're in  
albert fuckin einstein: I understand this may be a foreign situation to you all (with the exception of Tyler at the moment,) but I do hope you avoid treating me any differently.  
pati wuntz: TYLER AND FRANK ARE BROKEN  
makuy wey: speak english pls  
albert fuckin einstein: I do believe I am already speaking the English language, unless you would prefer me to communicate in a different one?  
toylor: dont, frank  
makuy wey: sOMEONE GET HIM SOBER  
garurd wey: im on it  
brondin erai: wtf is happening  
toylor: brendon, remove frank for a minute until gerard sobers him up

brondin erai removed albert fuckin einstein from so did i, josh

makuy wey: gerard are you done yet  
garurd wey: ive just arrived at his house  
garurd wey: i put him in the bath and turned the shower on  
garurd wey: he hit me really fuckin hard on my arm  
brondin erai: shit u alright m8  
garurd wey: yee  
toylor: im thinkin wow, you probably shoulda stayed inside your house  
jush dan: shut up tyjo  
toylor: no jishwa  
garurd wey: how bout you both shut up  
jush dan: fuck off  
toylor: yeah ya prick

brondin erai added albert fuckin einstein to so did i, josh

pati wuntz: so..?  
albert fuckin einstein: yooooo holy shit i just figured out whump is a fuckin word lmao  
pati wuntz: mission successful bitches  
robot ryan: ITS 1 FUCKING AM JESUS  
robot ryan: DID FRANK NOT HAVE ADULT SUPERVISION  
robot ryan: IM HEAVILY CONCERNED  
albert fuckin einstein: wooooah do i have super vision  
albert fuckin einstein: sick  
robot ryan: NO FRANK NO  
albert fuckin einstein: bitch im fuckin albert einstein who tf is frank  
robot ryan: frank is so fucked  
albert fuckin einstein: no hes not, hes frank  
garurd wey: lmfao  
brondin erai: 'hi hungry, im dad' frank iero edition  
jush dan: i cant wait for him to see this tomorrow  
toylor: me neither, josh  
garurd wey: IM WHEEZING


	26. ok so i kinda need another break (oh fuck here we go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuck my schedule didnt last long haha

ok so i didnt update on monday bc my mums sick and in need of surgery and my anxiety has been through the fucking roof lately

just to clarify, however:  
*clears throat*  
THIS FIC IS NOT FUCKING OVER AND IT WONT BE FOR A LONG ASS TIME OK

i just need a break until monday

then ill do spontaneous updates to make up for the two weeks of the schedule that ive missed :D  
i fucking hate myself haha

but just know that theres only like 51 days left until trench so uh stay frosty (royal milk tea)

anyways, have a good day and ill be back soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again for this


	27. holy fuck nuggets im back at mcdonalds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im back again lads wOOOO  
> you guys are so fuckin supportive oh my god what did i do to deserve you   
> anyways the schedule will return as usual so yee

pati wuntz: hey  
pati wuntz: hey  
pati wuntz: hEY  
pati wuntz: ffs im being reasonable here  
pati wuntz: its 1pm are you kidding me  
makuy wey: bitch do you expect us to be awake at this ungodly hour?  
pati wuntz: MOST PEOPLE HAVE JUST HAD LUNCH  
makuy wey: you mean breakfast?  
pati wuntz: i will use the fucking weapon  
makuy wey: there is no need for violence, pete  
pati wuntz: FUCK YOU

pati wuntz is calling so did i, josh [tap to answer]

makuy wey joined the call!

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING ASSHOLE"

makuy wey left the call!

pati wuntz ended the call!

garurd wey: WHAT THE FUCK MIKEY  
makuy wey: PETE CALLED THE FUCKIN GROUO CHAY AND IM MAD  
garurd wey: PETE WTF  
pati wuntz: OH YEAH MR KRABS  
toylor: PETE YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT  
pati wuntz: u salty man  
pati wuntz: its like someone poured salt on u, then vinegar, then more salt and then put a lil more on there. thats how salty u are rn bitch  
toylor: FUCK OFF  
jush dan: who dared wake me from my afternoon slumber  
brondin erai: who  
brondin erai: the fuck  
brondin erai: SUMMONED ME  
robot ryan: i think i just pissed myself oh fuck  
pati wuntz: lmfao really  
robot ryan: no you gullible dickhead  
albert fuckin einstein: why are we blaming pete by hinself? mikeys the one that screamed 'stfu you fuckin asshole'  
brondin erai: *360 head turn*  
makuy wey: oh FECK  
brondin erai: R E E T  
makuy wey: is startled  
brondin erai: is pissed  
toylor: WAIT HANG ON

toylor changed brondin erai's name to brondin ea

toylor: how much do i owe you for changing your name  
brondin ea: $10.99  
toylor: god fucking dammit  
robot ryan: press f to pay respects  
pati wuntz: where tf is batty patty  
petrick stimp: right here and if you ever call me that again you're gonna be beaty petey  
pati wuntz: :(  
jush dan: ill ask again.  
jush dan: WHO THE FUCK WOKE ME FROM MY SLUMBER  
makuy wey: pete  
jush dan: yeet the pete  
toylor: and tickle his feet lmfao  
garurd wey: what the fuck tyler  
toylor: ;))))))  
brondin ea: oh hell fucking nah  
toylor: oh hell fucking yes bitch  
jush dan: oh fuck i just burnt my motherfucking chips  
garurd wey: how  
jush dan: i put them in a fire pit  
garurd wey: WHAT THE FUCK DID U THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN DIPSHIT  
jush dan: oh idk... maybe you'd smell my burning love for you xx  
garurd wey: ...  
toylor: wanna run that by me again bitch?

jush dan sent an an audio [tap to listen]

makuy wey: *insert to be continued arrow here*  
toylor: BOI ILL BEAT YO UGLY FUCKIN ASS BITCH DONT YOU EVEN COME NEAR ME WITH THAT SHIT CHUMP BOI  
jush dan: IM CRYING  
garurd wey: *whispers* s o a m i , j o s h  
jush dan: fuck u  
brondin ea: k thatll be $700.50 for me talking to u guys like seven times sooo yea pay up losers  
albert fucking einstein: fuk u m8 im keeping the money  
brondin ea: who the fuck let you play the sims 4 huh? thats right, me. pay up you piece a shit  
albert fuckin einstein: bummer :(  
brondin ea: well maybe you should've thought about that before making your character fuck the grim reaper  
albert fuckin einstein: WE WERE DEVELOPING OUR RELATIONSHIP OK  
garurd wey: bitch you better not  
brondin ea: he fucking did bitch. sorry, now all of you, PAY THE FUCK UP  
albert fuckin einstein: *cries silently, deleting my sims 4 game and destroying my lost love for the grim reaper*  
brondin ea: boo fuckin hoo motherfucker  
garurd wey: pumpkin pie motherfucker  
toylor: you said that twice now you fuckin drainpipe  
garurd wey: p u m p k i n p i e m o t h e r f u c k e r

brondin ea changed their name to ea

ea: IM LOSING MY PATIENCE, BITCHES  
jush dan: the wizard of ounces  
ea: no  
albert fuckin einstein: fuck u ea  
ea: ouch my feelings  
toylor: ouch my wallet  
ea: stfu and pay me  
garurd wey: you sound a lil dodgy, brendon  
ea: oh  
ea: oH  
ea: OH  
ea: O H  
pati wuntz: whoops  
robot ryan: please shut up in trying to study  
jush dan: since when lmao  
robot ryan: since i got tired of your bullshit  
makuy wey: oOH KILL EM  
robot ryan: shut the fuck up twitdickshitstick  
makuy wey: what the fuk  
robot ryan: ITS YOUR FAULT WERE UP AT SUCH AN UNGODLY TIME  
pati wuntz: ITS 2PM NOW FOR GODS SAKE  
toylor: un-fucking-godly, pete.  
pati wuntz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	28. bitch this isnt friday wtf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes this is an update and not a bullshit excuse haha im suffering
> 
> ALSO
> 
> this chapter is sponsored by multiple terminal illnesses :D

toylor changed ea's name to the weeb

the weeb: OwO *blushes* whats this???  
toylor: im out  
toylor: everyone else can deal with brendon weeb  
the weeb: b-but tyler-kun, i love you!! >W<  
toylor: fuck off ya nonce  
pati wuntz: senpai??? ^W^  
garurd wey: TYLER GET YO ASS BACK HERE AND FIX THIS SHIT  
the weeb: T^T *sniffles* y-you dont mean that, d-do you gerard-kun?  
garurd wey: yes i fucking do you absolute twat bat

garurd wey changed the weeb's name to nonce

pati wuntz: i have been c u r e d  
nonce: hey there bois  
nonce: i wrote this song for u  
nonce: lippity smacc cuz ur a snacc 7U7  
robot ryan: gerard you did not help this situation at all  
garurd wey: bih ur mom didnt help when she gave birth to you  
jush dan: m e g a o o f  
nonce: oufé  
pati wuntz: *hits blunt* if smoking's so bad, why does it cure salmon  
robot ryan: i am confusion  
nonce: nah m8 ur dead  
robot ryan: good point  
albert fuckin einstein: o shit waddup  
jush dan: never say that again or i'll fucking body you  
jush dan: BUSTER  
garurd wey: lmfao im cryinh  
robot ryan: who tf says theyll body someone  
jush dan: m8 ill spin your jaw  
nonce: *wheexe*

garurd wey changed nonce's name to wheexe

wheexe: sounds like a shitty fortnite youtuber  
jush dan: im an emotionless husk  
garurd wey: so am i, josh  
jush dan: right, listen here you pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, and i mean a lot of fuckin mayo, shut the fuck up

wheexe changed garurd wey's name to pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo

pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: oh for fucks sake   
jush dan: LMFAO  
robot ryan: emotionless husk who  
jush dan: shit  
jush dan: i mean its not funny or whatever  
robot ryan: fuck hes good  
jush dan: ive been told ;))))  
robot ryan: WTF JOSHUA  
jush dan: what? just bc i can make a damn good sandwich  
jush dan: specifically a pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: fuck off dickhead  
jush dan: thats revenge for "so did i, josh"  
toylor: little did he know that i was the cause  
wheexe: wtf  
makuy wey: right im gonna be pete for a sec  
makuy wey: you do know its like 7:26pm right  
makuy wey: MY BEDTIME WAS 26 MINUTES AGO SO STFU  
albert fuckin einstein: bitch mine was 1hr 26mins ago but am i complaining? no. stop being a brat, mikey  
makuy wey: IM TIRED LEAVE ME ALONE OR IM TELLING MY MOM  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: mikey no ill get in trouble for being up past 7pm  
toylor: whos being serious and who isnt  
makuy wey: just bc u go to bed at 8:30pm, doesnt mean ur better than us tyler  
toylor: dONT BRING MY BEDTIME INTO THIS  
petrick stimp: what you lot dont realise is that im heavily superior to all of you...  
petrick stimp: I GO TO BED AT 9:00PM  
wheexe: he... he cannot be human. he is too powerful for a mortal being.  
petrick stimp: BOW DOWN TO YOUR LEADER  
toylor: bitch u wear a fucking fedora, i think the fuck not  
petrick stimp: and you wear a beanie  
toylor: OH SOMEBODY BOUTA GET FUCKED UP  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: come on now, dont get ur twinkies in a twist ;)  
toylor: sorry josh, gerards rules :/  
jush dan: scuse me, wHAT  
toylor: scuse me, could ya please leave?

petrick stimp changed their name to holey bibble

holey bibble: i am jesis  
albert fuckin einstein: you spelt idiot wrong  
holey bibble: WHEEXE URIE  
wheexe: yes  
holey bibble: banish him to the timeout corner.  
wheexe: right away sir

wheexe changed albert fuckin einstein to dunce

wheexe muted dunce

toylor: YOU COULD MUTE US THIS ENTIRE TIME  
wheexe: i too have power  
jush dan: we're all unbelievably fucked  
holey bibble: so, tyler, what were you saying about my fedora?  
toylor: its good  
toylor: its a good hat  
holey bibble: thats what i thought  
holey bibble: piece of mouldy bread  
toylor: im quaking  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: holey bibble. we meet again.  
holey bibble: well, pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo, how nice it is of you to show up  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: RELEASE FRANK NOW, YOU FEDORA WEARING THOT  
toylor: who tf says thot now  
holey bibble: QUIET, TYLER  
holey bibble: WHEEXE, DO IT.  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: WAIT, BRENDON DONT DO IT  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: ILL GIVE YOU MY CHEETOS TOMORROW AT LUNCH  
wheexe: ooh good deal  
wheexe: fuck off pat, ive met a real man

wheexe unmuted dunce

wheexe changed holey bibble's name to virgin

virgin: NOOOOO, MY POWER  
pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo: THE VILLAIN HAS BEEN DEFEATED  
wheexe: fuckin love cheetos  
robot ryan: i got cheese whiz  
wheexe: well done ryan

wheexe changed robot ryan's name to cheese whiz

dunce: well  
dunce: this was an experience and a half

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i know its not funny but i stfg i laughed my ass off at "un-fucking-godly, pete" like im serious that made me laugh wtf


	29. i wrote this instead of sleeping its fuckin 3:26am rn help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more shitty shenanigans that arent uPDATED ON TIME DAMMIT  
> ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THAT MY BLOOD IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING OMFG

pickle jelly sandwich with mayo, like, a lot of fuckin mayo changed their name to ham and gees sandwich

ham and gees sandwich: perfect  
dunce: could you dont im listening to the radio  
toylor: but my taste in music is your FACE  
jush dan: WoUlD yOu LiKe Am Or FMMM  
dunce: stfu  
wheexe: who tf listens to the radio  
wheexe: btw gerard damn those cheetos were fuckin good  
ham and gees sandwich: dont you fucking dare  
virgin: im still pissed bout this  
cheese whiz: ONLY ONE CAN BE THE CHEESE  
ham and gees sandwich: what u gonna do bout it huh  
cheese whiz: ill get brendon to mute u  
ham and gees sandwich: go on, do it then. no balls.  
cheese whiz: BRENDON BOYD URIE MUTE GERARD ARTHUR WAY  
wheexe: nah m8 he gave me cheetos. he got my respect man  
cheese whiz: brendon we're literally dating  
wheexe: gotta respect the cheetos fam  
cheese whiz: dickhead  
ham and gees sandwich: lmfao  
wheexe: we cool tho ryan  
cheese whiz: no im breaking up with u bc u wont mute gerard bc we both reference cheese  
cheese whiz: YES WE'RE COOL BRENDON  
wheexe: tbh that does sound like something you'd break up with me over  
cheese whiz: m8 ill leave the band  
[sorry lmaooo i had to - from the not very sorry author]  
wheexe: tf what band  
toylor: BITCH U TOLD ME OFF FOR THE FOURTH WALL BREAKS WTF  
cheese whiz: yea but its me innit  
toylor: never say 'innit' again ffs  
cheese whiz: innit  
toylor: *breaks chair*

wheexe added Dallon Weekes to so did i, josh

Dallon Weekes: what the fuck  
toylor: WHO TF IS THIS BITCH

wheexe changed Dallon Weekes's name to dandy dallon

dandy dallon: what the fuck  
ham and gees sandwich: o shit hello  
dandy dallon: knowledgen't  
wheexe: right this is the really tall bloke called dallon  
dandy dallon: who tf are u  
wheexe: im everyone's favorite bussy boppin beebo  
dandy dallon: brendon urie?  
wheexe: thats the one  
jush dan: whom has entered  
toylor: *prepares sniper rifle*  
dandy dallon: WHO TF IS HERE I ONLY KNOW BRENDON  
pati wuntz: look at our fucking names  
virgin: exactl- wAIT

virgin changed their name to fobby bobby

fobby bobby: im patrick stump (NOT A VIRGIN OK DONT BULLY ME OR ILL TELL ME FOOKIN MATES AND THEYLL CAVE YOUR SKULL IN)  
dandy dallon: k  
toylor: im fuck off, im staying anonymous

wheexe changed toylor's name to tylerrjoseph

tylerrjoseph: fucking hell brendon  
wheexe: anyone else wanna hide their fuckin identity  
dunce: im frank *insert random vowels here*  
wheexe: and one consonant  
tylerrjoseph: ffs its frank iero  
dandy dallon: lmao looks like somethin ur left with at the end of scrabble  
dunce: OH YOU ASS EATING PRICK  
tylerrjoseph: stfu u two  
dunce: ok mom  
pati wuntz: INTRODUCTION DAY GONE WRONG *emotional*  
dandy dallon: bitch i aint a cannibal  
dunce: u look like one  
cheese whiz: dallon  
dandy dallon: wot bitch  
cheese whiz: brendons dick looks like a soggy rice krispy  
dandy dallon: LMFAO

wheexe muted cheese whiz

ham and gees sandwich: you're lucky, dallon. back in our day, we didnt know brendon could mute people  
dandy dallon: rip

pati wuntz changed their name to meaty petey

meaty petey: oi patrick  
fobby bobby: no  
meaty petey: dont u wanna see my meaty mcpetey  
fobby bobby: once is too many times, pete  
meaty petey: but he loves u  
dandy dallon: no one here wants a threeway, please stop  
tylerrjoseph: lmao  
jush dan: u sure, dallon?  
fobby bobby: HE BETTER BE FUCKING SURE YOU DAMP GREMLIN  
jush dan: :(  
wheexe: im fucking crying omfg  
ham and gees sandwich: this group chat gets so much weirder every day and i believe the fbi man is concerned  
dunce: the fbi man is in our phones too?  
fobby bobby: give him strength  
dandy dallon: *hands the fbi man a protein bar*

wheexe added The FBI Man to so did i, josh

The FBI Man: Please leave me alone, I don't know any of you and you're scaring my family.

The FBI Man left so did i, josh

tylerrjoseph: WHO TF WAS THAT BRENDON  
wheexe: ill never tell ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now fucking meaty mcpetey is making me laugh ffs is 4am i dont need this shit


	30. *falls down stairs* fffFFFUCK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit ok im back lmao
> 
> school just started for me and it was a lil stressful but im good now and heres another shitty chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its short but i swear ill update again tomorrow and hopefully make it longer anyways enjoy this """ quality""" shit

dandy dallon: hey  
fobby bobby: no  
dandy dallon: u fookin wot betch  
meaty mcpetey: hey there pat <33  
fobby bobby: oh fUck that  
tylerrjoseph: oi guess what  
jush dan: lemme guess, ur gonna complain abput how late/early it is  
tylerrjoseph: oh shit u rite lol

jush dan changed their name to alien boi

alien boi: i was bored of jush dan  
dandy dallon: lmfao alien boi thats gay as shit  
alien boi: m8 ur literally called dandy dallon dont come at me w that shet

tylerrjoseph changed their name to skeleton boi

skeleton boi: reet  
dandy dallon: brendons stooped  
wheexe: i got 7/32 in maths class im practically einstein  
meaty petey: didnt einstein do history or somethin  
wheexe: ah shit i think so idfk  
fobby bobby: no u nobheads he made rick and morty  
ham and gees sandwich: ok so ive been deeply analyzing our last conversation and i need to ask  
ham and gees sandwich: WHO THE FUCK WAS THE FBI MAN  
wheexe: i could tell u but it would ruin the secret  
ham and gees sandwich: tell me nOWWWWW  
wheexe: i got my dad to agree to this shite  
ham and gees sandwich: im mostly concerned on why he agreed and didnt disown you  
wheexe: oh no he did that too but afterwards  
ham and gees sandwich: brilliant  
wheexe: no not really  
skeleton boi:  
alien boi:  
meaty petey:  
dandy dallon:  
dunce: didnt he say hed never tell  
fobby bobby: what the fuck brendon  
wheexe: IM INDECISIVE OK GOD YOUR SO JUDGEMENTAL

The FBI Man joined so did i, josh

The FBI Man unmuted cheese whiz

The FBI Man left so did i, josh

wheexe: WHAT THE FUCK  
cheese whiz: OMFG WTF WTF WTF  
skeleton boi: WH A T  
alien boi: i think i just pissed myself idk lemme check  
ham and gees sandwich: WHAT JUST HAPPENED BRENDON THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE  
dandy dallon: IM TREMBLING  
dunce: IM QUAKING  
fobby bobby: IM QUIVERING  
wheexe: IM TREMORING  
skeleton boi: everyone.exe has stopped working  
cheese whiz: RIGHT THATS IT WERE THROWING OUR PHONES IN THE FUCKIN SEA MAN  
wheexe: haha semen  
cheese whiz: lol semen  
skeleton boi: jfc  
alien boi: haha kfc  
dunce: wAIT JOSH SHOULD BE CALLED DUNCE  
alien boi: why  
dunce: JOSH DUNCE  
alien boi: fuck off betch  
alien boi: tf? i meant batch  
alien boi: wtaf im tryna say butch  
alien boi: JUST LET ME SAY BOTCH  
skeleton boi: we get it, joshua now stfu  
alien boi: fuming

dunce changed alien boi's name to josh dunce

dunce changed their name to cranky frank

josh dunce: bit rude that ngl  
wheexe: if someone asks if their hairline is fucked, theres a 99% chance that it is  
dandy dallon: I enjoy the consumption of the tender flesh of infants  
cheese whiz: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK DALLON  
wheexe: calm the FLIP down ryan  
cheese whiz: im still quook from the fbi guy  
wheexe: dw my dad has access to the chat and can join and leave whenever he wants  
skeleton boi: BRENDON WHY  
wheexe: hey just bc my dads name is 'the' doesn't mean you can take the piss out of him  
skeleton boi: so his regular name is just 'the man'  
wheexe: no thats his undercover name  
wheexe: works every time  
skeleton boi: i can see why tbf. very convincing  
wheexe: yeah i know bc hes my dad  
ham and gees sandwich: youre all gay  
dandy dallon: Youre one of us???  
ham and gees sandwich: good point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres some random food for thought (iT MIGHT BE POISON- ill shut up now)
> 
> neil armstrong was the first lad who went on the moon  
> neil a would be the abbreviated version of his name apart from his initials  
> neil a spelt backwards is a lien
> 
> alien
> 
> bITCH WHAT THE F U C K
> 
> its 1am why am i like this


	31. apparently this is later in the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the past tense of yeet is yote

josh dunce: youre a twat  
josh dunce: lmao why  
josh dunce: because  
wheexe: you need jesuse  
dandy dallon: drink some holey wator  
josh dun: REEEEEEEEEEE *flips table*  
cheese whiz: *OwOs INTENSIFY*  
cranky frank: NANI?!  
skeleton boi: S-SENPAI NUUU QwQ  
josh dunce: youre all twats  
wheexe: SENPAI NU ÒΠÒ *prepares for some fOOKIN WAR BITCH OOOOH*  
ham and gees sandwich: *appears from nowhere bc im a special fuckin anime girl* WITH THE POWER OF GAY, I WILL STOP YOU  
wheexe: N A N I

ham and gees sandwich changed their name to a special fuckin anime girl

a special fuckin anime girl: UWAAAAAAAAAA *hits you with a shovel*  
wheexe: OOF  
skeleton boi: OH NOES TnT  
josh dunce: i fucking hate all of you  
josh dunce: why are you like this  
cheese whiz: S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-SENPAI, DONT WATCH  
dandy dallon: BITCH THIS AINT ANIME THIS IS THE FUCKIN HUNGER GAMES UwU *pulls out a mini gun*  
skeleton boi: OH FUCK *throws grenade* GET DOWN  
cranky frank: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT *explodes*  
skeleton boi: WE LOST FRANK  
wheexe: OH SHIT  
a special fuckin anime girl: SENPAI NOOOOOOO  
wheexe: *throws tyler at you*  
skeleton boi: oH FUCK NUGGETS *becomes a boomerang*  
a special fuckin anime girl: *W A S T E D*  
skeleton boi: SORRY BRENDONNNNNNNN *whips out an ak-47 and shoots randomly*  
josh dunce: *gets hit and just fucking dies*  
skeleton boi: NOOOOOOOO  
skeleton boi: NOT MY SENPAI  
skeleton boi: *shoots a basket full of bread*  
wheexe: *puts bandana on* ITS TIME, TYLER JOSPHANI  
cranky frank: SHITS GOIN DOWN DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND  
dandy dallon: SHIT WE'RE GOING DOWN, GET BACKUP  
wheexe: *activates trap card* YOU'RE DAD SWEARS ON MINECRAFT  
skeleton boi: *activates reverse card*  
skeleton boi: *inhales* N O U  
wheexe: *JUST FUCKIN DIES*  
skeleton boi: *respawns everyone* MY LIL PONY, BIIIIIIIITCH  
josh dunce: id rather be dead thanks  
cranky frank: UNTIL NEXT TIME ÒwÓ  
a special fuckin anime girl: hehehehehehe youre hilarious frenk-kun-senpai-weebshitidfk >W<  
cranky frank: the fuck youd just say you piece of shit  
a special fuckin anime girl: *pulls out a fuckin katana* NOT TODAY, FRANKY *stabs u*  
cranky frank: *respawns*  
a special fuckin anime girl: O SHIT  
skeleton boi: omae wamou, shindeiru  
cranky frank: ¡¿I N A N  
wheexe: preorder your iNan today for just $4.99! she can read, make itchy sweaters, bake the bEST FUCKIN COOKIES LIKE MMM MAMA MIA, and complain about technology! BUY NOW!  
cheese whiz: what the fuck brendon  
josh dunce: can she shove a whole bag o jellybeans up her ass tho  
wheexe: m8 im not giving you my nan like who else gon make me those sweet ass cookies  
josh dunce: thats the only thing you care about?  
wheexe: yea man like wtf  
skeleton boi: we just had an awesome fucking anime battle how the FUCK did we get to this  
cheese whiz: through 40 billion years of evolution  
skeleton boi: holy fuck what's wrong with us  
cheese whiz: 40 billion years of evolution  
dandy dallon: he got a point tbf  
josh dunce: im 14 and this is deep  
fobby bobby: bitch you aint 14  
josh dunce: woooosh  
fobby bobby: double woooosh  
wheexe: OOO GET SLAPPED BETCH LMFAO  
josh dunce: *screams in dema*  
meaty mcpetey: *visible confusion*  
skeleton boi: dema is dema there u happy now you non responsive turd  
meaty mcpetey: that was about as useful as a dry wet wipe thanks a lot  
skeleton boi: ey np b xx  
wheexe: i found a tv remote in my nans ass holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck am i doing with my life


	32. OK HALLOWEEN UPDATE YEET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did you miss me
> 
> probably not
> 
> anyways three things:  
> 1\. sorry ive barely updated  
> 2\. TRENCH IS FUCKING FIRE THAT MADE ME CRY AND GERARD WAY'S NEW SONG IS A BOP  
> 3\. HAPPY HALLOWEEN YOU EMO RATS

wheexe: wassup fuckers  
josh dunce: what the fuck  
wheexe: FUCK YOU THAS WHY  
cheese whiz: i want to cry  
josh dunce: tf why  
cheese whiz: my mom found my phone unlocked and found my messages  
skeleton boi: sucks to be you i guess  
cheese whiz: she thinks im in a fucking cult  
cranky frank: not surprised tbh  
wheexe: my names boring hang on

wheexe changed their name to santa

skeleton boi: ITS HALLOWEEN YOU FUCKING SHARPIE  
santa: ho ho ho bitch  
skeleton boi: every time you sing a christmas carol before december an elf gets shot  
josh dunce: JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS  
dandy dallon: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS  
fobby bobby: RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED FUCKER  
santa: SILENT NIGHT HOLY SHIT IM QUAKING  
skeleton boi: this is not how i remember christmas  
santa: ALL U FUCKERS OUT THERE GON GET NOTHIN  
fobby bobby: *gasps*  
josh dunce: *quakes*  
dandy dallon: *shakes*  
meaty mcpetey: *appears*  
fobby bobby: fuck off pete  
meaty mcpetey: fuck no

meaty mcpetey added Andy Hurley to so did i, josh

meaty mcpetey added Joe Trohman to so did i, josh

skeleton boi: W H O M

fobby bobby changed Andy Hurley's name to handy andy

fobby bobby changed Joe Trohman's name to low joe

low joe: Why  
handy andy: what the fuck is this  
josh dunce: hi welcome to so did i josh we all want to die  
a special fuckin anime girl: please run while you can  
handy andy: oh nO  
low joe: Im trembling  
meaty mcpetey: holy heck i have an idea

meaty mcpetey changed skeleton boi's name to joseph

meaty mcpetey changed low joe's name to Joseph

Joseph: Whats the difference  
joseph: bitch is u blind  
Joseph: Stfu Tyler  
joseph: piss off joe  
Joseph: Tyler  
joseph: joe  
josh dunce: brendon  
santa: penis  
a special fuckin anime girl: of course brendon, seeing as yours is minuscule  
handy andy: MEGA OOF  
Joseph: thas a lotta damage  
josh dunce: how? he just stated the obvious  
joseph: OH FUCC  
fobby bobby: SLOB ON MY NOB  
fobby bobby: LIKE CORN ON THE COB  
Joseph: Why cant I leave  
santa: MY PP IS MEATIER THAN PETE THANKS VERY MUCH

meaty mcpetey changed their name to not meaty

not meaty: you were saying  
santa: i get no support in this house  
handy andy: good  
santa: fucking swines  
Joseph: Please stop I need to get up tomorrow and its midnight rn

santa muted Joseph

santa: shh  
not meaty: haha u have a small pp  
santa: i feel so disrepected right now

not meaty changed santa's name to bign't

bign't: i despise you all  
a special fuckin anime girl: surprised you didnt say that sooner- oH wAiT  
bign't: i feel so attacked right now like omg


	33. Chapter 33

handy andy: NOT TODAY SATAN  
bign't: pardon me its santa to you  
handy andy: that doesnt apply anymore tf  
bign't: ah shit  
bign't: well dont i feel foolish  
joseph: b r e n d o n  
bign't: t y l e r  
joseph: its an hour past your bedtime  
bign't: its 5pm?  
bign't: bitch it was two hours ago  
joseph: three  
handy andy: four  
handy andy: wait no seven  
not meaty: PINK

a special fuckin anime girl changed their name to germy gerard

germy gerard: pink is my favorite number  
fobby bobby: really? i like Q  
handy andy: yall are basic af, the best number is obvs golden retriever  
joseph: but like have you even heard of siamese? such a good number  
josh dunce: i mean i like 120188  
fobby bobby: JOSH THAT IS A NUMBER  
joseph: aw josh you're so sweet  
josh duce: ly xx  
germy gerard: iTS SO GAY I CAN RELATE? BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT WAS SWEET?  
cranky frank: dude put a slash or dot between the 12,01 and 98  
germy gerard: 12/01/98  
germy gerard: tf is that a birthday or somethin  
joseph: yeah but whos  
germy gerard: ooooooOOOOOOH  
germy gerard: its joshs?  
josh dunce: wh a t  
joseph: bitch its mine  
germy gerard: ...  
germy gerard: bRENDON LET ME LEAVEEEEE  
bign't: suffer the fatal wrath of my roundhouse kick  
germy gerard: aFTER I LEAVEEE  
bign't: no  
handy andy: IM FUCKING CRYING  
handy andy: THE FATAL WRATH OF YOUR ROUNDHOUSE KICK  
bign't: you're next virgin  
handy andy: IM DYING OMFG  
josh dunce: the master does not lie  
bign't: the fatality will prevail once you feel the almighty power that my roundhouse kick provides  
bign't: i fear no mortal  
bign't: i fear no man  
bign't: for my name is

bign't changed their name to geoff

geoff: geoffrey  
joseph: is that your elaborate way of saying my nama jeff or  
geoff: ah shit  
fobby bobby: but who tf spells it like that  
germy gerard: GEOFF FOR PRESIDENT  
geoff: exactly  
germy gerard: but you're still brendon tf  
geoff: fUck  
not meaty: jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way  
joseph: go to hell  
geoff: you really smell  
fobby bobby: and you're getting in my way  
handy andy: beautiful, brought a tear to my eye

geoff unmuted Joseph

Joseph: ITS NOVEMBER, PETE

geoff muted Joseph

geoff: wise words  
geoff: hes sat next to me right now and asked me to unmute him just to say that

geoff sent a video [tap to view]

handy andy: hes fucking screeching lmfao  
fobby bobby: iTs NoVeMbEr PeTe  
not meaty: now i know how brendon felt like im sobbing  
fobby bobby: really

fobby bobby sent a video [tap to view]

not meaty: um excUsE YOU I DIDNT COME HERE TO BE EXPOSED LIKE THIS  
fobby bobby: none of us came here willingly  
geoff: hAh  
geoff: gottemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
joseph: brendon you're a turd burglar  
geoff: *cries in forehead*  
handy andy: wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok new schedule  
> updates on saturdays n sundays bc i procrastinate too much ok have a nice day


	34. my mini hiatus is over for the fifty seventh time whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being inactive for seven years lmao whoops  
> my motivation fucking plummeted so uh  
> anyway nEw cHaPtEr OOOoOOOoo

geoff: oi  
geoff: oi  
geoff: oi  
geoff: oi  
geoff: oi  
handy andy: shut the diddly darn FRICK up buddaroo before i ckme over there and slap you the HECK up  
not meaty: omfg such profanity  
fobby bobby: thanks andy, the kids are in tears  
joseph: *gay sobbing*  
geoff: oh my fUcKiNG god  
joseph: my gay sobbing has ceased in order to deliver a bitch slap specifically for brendon  
geoff: wow  
germy gerard: is joe still dead or

geoff unmuted Joseph

Joseph: Wtf why is it April now  
not meaty: JOE STOP FUCKING KNOWING SHIT WE'RE IN A FUCKING CHAT DICKHEAD  
Joseph: Alrighty then  
josh dunce: okay so my pally wally dingalings i understand that this joke has been used way too often but do you get what time it is  
germy gerard: oh my gOsh josh let us LIve  
josh dunce: ILL LET YOU LIVE IF YOU LET ME SLEEP  
germy gerard: suck my meaty ass you dehydrated cactus  
josh dunce: that was  
josh dunce: that was definitely something  
joseph: well it definitely wasnt nothing  
geoff: i feel high  
handy andy: okay ngl i would honestly let caillou step on me  
Joseph: Are you a pedo  
handy andy: no im a virgin  
Joseph: Makes sense  
fobby bobby: i heard something just hit my window what the fuck  
not meaty: PATRICK DONT OPEN IT  
fobby bobby: WHAT THE FUCK  
not meaty: PATRICK WHAT DID I S A Y  
fobby bobby: IS THAT A FUCKING STONE  
not meaty: NO  
fobby bobby: PETE WTF ARE YOU DOING ITS 2AM  
not meaty: I WAS THROWING ROCKS BC I WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT YOURE A ROCK SOLID GUY  
fobby bobby: pete don't take this personally but i feel like a fucking blade of grass is smarter than you rn  
not meaty: wowie my fucking feelings   
fobby bobby: what part of don't take this personally do you not understand  
joseph: 2am is fucking wild  
geoff: ikr  
germy gerard: okay so guess what  
germy gerard: ITS ALMOST HALLWOEEBEBEBEBENNEENEN  
geoff: EVERYBIDY SCRSMA  
Joseph: But its April  
germy gerard: YEAH AND APRIL IS JUST A SCRAPPED OCTOBER  
Joseph: ...what  
germy gerard: ITS ALMSOT HALLOWOOEOEOEERRREEEEEEN  
germy gerard: DO THE TEICK OR TREAAAEAAAEAT  
fobby bobby: do i need to call an ambulance  
geoff: no you need to call the fire brigade bc this is fire  
fobby bobby: drown  
joseph: H E R E I C O M E  
josh dunce: oooo  
joseph: jOsH nO

joseph changed josh dunce's name to kinky spinky

kinky spinky: tyler this has no correlation with my name whatsoever  
joseph: shut it kinky spinky  
geoff: the kink in the spink  
germy gerard: whAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE  
Joseph: Why  
not meaty: STEP THE FUCK UP, JOE  
Joseph: Fight me you fucking short ass b i t c h  
fobby bobby: *nervous sweating*  
joseph: yo did you know that shrek is like 7-8 feet tall wtf thats crazy  
geoff: omg shrek sTaB mE DadDy aAaWWwwHhHH  
cranky franky: i love how this is what i come back to, it reminds me of the terrifying hell hole i had just escaped from  
germy gerard: oOoOo hI bB uWu  
cranky franky: what the fuck gerard  
dandy dallon: i jUsT gOt BaVk fRoM mY dAy TRiP iN wIsCoNsIn  
joseph: mOM  
fobby bobby: did u get the cheese hats  
dandy dallon: u bet ur sweet ass i got cheese hats  
cheese whiz: haha  
cheese whiz: hahahahahaha  
cheese whiz: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NOTIFICATIONS THIS GODFORSAKEN GROUP CHAT HAS LEFT ME  
geoff: RYANNNNN  
geoff: ALSO NO BC IDGAF  
cheese whiz: holy fuck i feel so appreciated rn thanks brendon you dickhat  
joseph: josh my asshole is not a hat stop wearing it  
kinky spinky: wHAT THE FU C K  
joseph: uwuwuwuwu

joseph changed kinky spinky's name to joshuass

joshuass: thanks ty  
joseph: only the best for you  
dandy dallon: seriously what the fuck  
cheese whiz: i regret coming back  
geoff: too bad my g ya staying  
cheese whiz: never call me your g again  
geoff: got it my guy  
cheese whiz: y o u r e i n s u f f e r a b l e  
geoff: no im brendon  
not meaty: dont be upsetti have some spaghetti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if its short whoops


End file.
